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Archive for Child Development

Words Can Inspire by Leah Davies M.Ed.

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· October 1, 2018 
· No Comments

Most educators can recall a teacher’s comment that either encouraged or discouraged them. Positive messages foster a child’s growth and are constructive, while negative messages can defeat and discourage a child. Our words can have a profound effect upon a child’s attitude and behavior. A comment like, “You better do well on this test,” can threaten a child’s confidence. In contrast, by saying, “This is an important test, but I know each of you will do your best,” can inspire children to try harder. Here are some examples of teacher comments made to children that illustrate how the right (or wrong) words can discourage or encourage:

A discouraging comment such as…
“You are slow like your brothers. You may never learn to read.”

…would lead the child to internalize the message and quit trying.

An encouraging comment such as…
“You do well in math and I believe you will become a good reader. I will help you learn to read!”

…would make the child think that if his teacher believes that he can learn to read, maybe he really can! The student will feel proud of his math ability and be ready to try to improve his reading.

A discouraging comment such as…
“You are always in trouble. You are just one of those children who cannot get along with others.”

…would lead a child to believe that she is a hopeless troublemaker who will never have friends.

An encouraging comment such as…
“You are a talented artist. Getting along with others is something that can be improved upon. I know you will be able to learn how to share and take turns.”

…would inspire a child to try to live up to her teacher’s expectation of her being able to behave appropriately.

Teacher comments can have a significant impact on a child’s self-esteem. Many students come to school sad and discouraged as a result of poverty, abuse or other problems. Children desperately need someone to believe in their worth and encourage them to try harder to do their best!

Jerry Moe, a renowned national speaker and prevention specialist for children at the Betty Ford Center, shared his childhood at a recent conference. His parents were alcoholics who were unavailable to help him grow and develop into a self-confident child. As an adolescent, he exhibited delinquent behaviors. One day a substitute teacher called him aside and said, “You are too good to get in trouble. I see a lovable child underneath your tough exterior. You are a valuable human being. I know you can make a contribution to this world.” Mr. Moe reported that those few words turned his life around and he began to believe that he could develop into a worthwhile person.

Students with a low sense of worth dwell on their weaknesses. Teachers who search for and discover each child’s strengths can contribute greatly to a child’s revised self-concept. When a teacher mentions a child’s strengths, he or she will most likely begin to believe he has abilities.

For example a teacher might say:

  • “I see you can run very fast. You may want to be on the track team someday.”
  • “I have been thinking about your project idea, and I have decided to use it!”
  • “What a creative story! I am going to hang your paper on the bulletin board.”
  • “What bright colors you used in your picture. Maybe you will become an artist!”

Words that paint successful pictures for children stimulate optimism about their future and thus encourage positive behaviors. If you want to inspire your students, stop and think before saying something defeating and then express the idea in a constructive, encouraging way.

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Categories : Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting

August Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 5, 2018 
· No Comments

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This month, Dr. Gary shared the importance of emotional literacy. Therapists and counselors are often concerned about a child’s emotional literacy. Emotionally literate children can manage their feelings and their reactions to those feelings. They can recognize and respond to other people’s feelings, which is a significant advantage in life. Feelings are the most basic building blocks of social skills. Without the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others, children are not able to master social interactions. Read more here.

Articles

New studies have found that toddlers as young as two years old are able to understand that their actions are being judged. They understand that their actions can render positive or negative reactions from others. This is important because it shows us that children, at a very young age, begin to understand far more than we assume. Read full article here.

As we return our loved ones back to school yards, campuses, and trusted teachers, we are too familiar with the temptations that our children face with each new school year. Social media is often an outlet to which they turn. The number of media platforms is ever-growing, however, and it may seem hopeless to a parent to monitor and supervise. Thankfully, we have found some useful tips to help you keep your loved ones safe on the web! Read full article here.

Bullying is scary. It’s a scary concept for parents that could become their child’s reality. But bullying in all forms is a sign of ignorance, and the best way to stop it is to educate your children about what bullying is, and what they should do it they see it, or become a victim. Loren Santos, a school counselor at Franklin Elementary School in Baltimore County, Maryland has six tips to help you talk about bullying with your children. Read full article here.

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Categories : Bullying, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Wrap Up
Tags : board games, childhood stress, counseling games, development, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, therapeutic games for children

Identifying and Expressing Feelings

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 21, 2018 
· No Comments

Therapists and counselors are often concerned about a child’s emotional literacy. Emotionally literate children can manage their feelings and their reactions to those feelings. They can recognize and respond to other people’s feelings, which is a significant advantage in life. Many of our clients are not emotionally literate and our work with those children includes developing and enhancing the child’s ability to identify and express their feelings. Feelings are the most basic building blocks of social skills. Without the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others, children are not able to master social interactions. Children adept at identifying and expressing their feelings are likely to display increased empathy which is crucial for social competence, social relatedness, and pro-social behavior.  Children with deficits in their ability to identify and express their feelings may display excessive anger and frustration, and have more troubled interpersonal relationships with peers, teachers, and family members.

Since the development of The Talking, Feeling, and Doing board game in the 70’s, there have been hundreds of games developed to promote feeling identification and expression. Below is a brief survey of six of the most popular games currently on the market.

Feeling’s Detective is a matching game and is especially helpful with children who have difficulty picking up on social cues. It is suitable for children in grades 1-6. Feelings Detective helps children understand their own feelings as well as the feelings of others. It is especially helpful for children who tend to misread social cues, including those who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome or are at any other position on the Autism Spectrum. Specific examples help players link specific situations and thoughts with specific feelings.

The Emotions Mania Thumball is a great ice breaker for children, families, and groups.  Thumballs are a soft, stuffed ball that is safe for indoor use. Game play is simple. Simply throw, roll, pass or catch the thumball. Look under your thumb and react to the feeling word found there. Each panel has a different word. The Emotion Mania Thumball includes words such as happy, sad worried, curious, silly, proud and lonely. It is suitable for children, teens, and adults.

Go Fish: Fishing for Feelings teaches the skills needed to successfully deal with feelings, recognize feelings in others, and identify appropriate feelings. Players practice talking about their feelings in a non-threatening way. Players answer open-ended questions before receiving a requested card. Each question prompts a discussion about successfully dealing with feelings, recognizing other people’s feelings, or identifying appropriate feelings. The game plays like classic Go Fish. There are two decks of 50 cards in each game. One for children ages 5 to 8 years old, and the other for children ages 8 to 11 years old.

 

Emotional Bingo for Children (Spanish & English) is a great game for groups, class rooms, and individual sessions. In this bingo game players identify feelings rather than numbers on their Bingo cards. Emotional Bingo helps children learn to recognize various feelings and make empathetic responses. The game rules provide opportunities for children to discuss their own feelings and to respond with empathy to the feelings of others. The children’s version is suitable for children ages 6-12 and there is a version available for Teens.

 

The Yes I Can! Talk About Feelings cards are designed to facilitate conversation, insight, expressive skills, and increase an individual’s feeling word vocabulary. It is suitable for families, classrooms, counselors, & therapists and improves feeling identification and the expression of emotions. The Yes I Can Talk About Feelings game is great for enhancing self-awareness and the impact of one’s behavior. The instructions include several fun activities and suggestions for using the cards. This game is suitable for ages 5 and up, 2-6 players.

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Categories : Asperger's, Autism, Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Games
Tags : board games, child development, child therapy, counseling games, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy gams, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games, thumball

Rights, Responsibilities, Privileges, Rewards: Coaching Strategies by Donna Hammontree, LCSW, RPT-S

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· July 17, 2018 
· No Comments

Helping children learn to manage and regulate their behavior can be a challenge.  My colleague Mandy Miller, LCSW, shared her insights with me, and I use her system regularly when coaching parents, teens, and children. To start, everyone should be clear about what is a right, a responsibility, a privilege, and a reward.

Basic definitions
Rights:  food, shelter, clothes, love
Responsibilities:  respectfulness, completion of school and homework, doing chores, following adult directions
Privileges:  video games, cell phone access, television, crafts, time with friends, name brand clothes
Rewards:  ice cream outings, a trip to the toy store, having a friend over, trip to the park, choosing and playing a family game

After we are clear about our definitions, the next step is to shift from a negative approach, to a positive approach.  We want caregivers and parents to understand the benefits of focusing on earning privileges, rather than losing them. As an adult, if I drive my car responsibly, I earn and keep my privilege to drive.  If I choose to speed or run red lights, I may have to take city transportation or ride my bike.

Basic Guidelines
Consistency:  If 2 or more adults are involved in the home, everyone needs to be communicating and working together.
Short-term loss of privileges:  Privileges can be re-earned by changing the behavior quickly or by staying calm while engaging in or with something else.  Long-term loss of privileges can lead to hopelessness and increased defiance and oppositional behaviors.
Non-punitive:  The child either chooses to earn a privilege or not.  
Calm, caring and firm caregivers:  Adults need to stay emotionally untangled with any tantrums.  This means that the adult needs to remain calm, positive, and pleasant while not taking on the child’s emotions.  Parents should be coached in active listening: “I hear you are upset, and I’m sorry you lost your privilege … You feel really angry at me right now and are upset you lost your privilege.”  Parents should remain empathic and loving.

Additional Suggestions
Caregivers and parents may use this program exclusively within the home or the program may include activities outside of the home.  Children struggling outside of the home may benefit from having some of their privileges at home being made contingent on success at school or camp. For example, if the child has a green day, the child gets 1 hour of video games.  If the child has a “yellow” day, the child has to wait 15 minutes to start playing the video games for 45 minutes. Finally, if the child has a red day, the child has no video game time. The child can do anything else like play outside, read books, or play board games with the parent.  Time frames should match the child’s chronological or developmental age. If the school or camp day is included, teachers and parents will need to work closely together daily. Several days of success may be followed by additional privileges or reward activities.

Some children, especially younger ones, may need for the day to be divided into shorter parts, such as 8 a.m. to 10 a.m., 10 a.m. to noon, noon to 2 p.m. and so on.  Children with self-regulation and impulse control issues may benefit from even shorter periods of feedback.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Reader Submissions
Tags : child therapy, development, feelings, parenting

June Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· July 2, 2018 
· No Comments

Children learn as they play. More importantly, in play, children learn how to learn.

-O. Fred Donaldson

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Another great submission from Leah Davies highlights the importance of encouraging thoughts for children. Leah has tips on how to provoke children to encourage themselves as well as their peers. Examples of positive “self-talk” from Leah’s list include, “It’s OK to make mistakes because everyone does” and, “Each new day brings a chance to do better.” Learning to encourage themselves and others teaches children the value of a positive disposition, and helps them to manage peer relations. Read more here.

Articles

A study conducted in the 60’s has been given new life. The marshmallow test was used to measure the impulsiveness of children by giving them one marshmallow to eat immediately, or wait and get two marshmallows later. The initial test found that most children couldn’t wait for the better deal. Surprisingly, the test re-administered to today’s youngsters told a different story. Researchers are looking to credit technological advances for today’s children’s higher IQ levels, which may lead to higher self-control. Read full article here.

A new study has found that there is no difference in the developmental outcomes for children of same-sex versus different-sex marriage. The study followed lesbian mothers, gay fathers, and heterosexual couples. While there were no findings that one type of family unit performed better or worse than the others, it was found that parents in unhappy relationships reported more problems with their childrens’ behavior. Read full article here.

Christopher J. Ferguson, a professor  of psychology at Stetson University, claims that addiction to technology is “rubbish.” According to his research, the chemical reaction in the brain while having “screen time” is similar to that of other play-time activities, such as swimming, reading for leisure, or conversing. True addictive substances tend to drive the brain’s levels of dopamine much much higher  than the body can naturally produce. Read full article here.

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Categories : Child Development, Feelings, Impulse Control, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Wrap Up
Tags : child therapy, child therapy toys, childhood stress, feelings, mental health disorders, Play Therapy

Encouraging Thought By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 18, 2018 
· No Comments

Encouragement means to stimulate initiative and positive actions. Teachers, counselors, and parents are asked to encourage children to do their best by acknowledging their efforts and strengths. However, when children do not feel good about themselves or their situation, they need to be reminded of ways they can encourage themselves and each other.

Ask children for examples of thoughts that help them feel better when they are unhappy. Explain that helpful thoughts are called positive “self-talk” and that adults often use this as a way to cope with their problems. List the children’s ideas on the board.

Some examples are:

  •   I am a good person no matter what anyone does or says.
  •   It is okay to make mistakes because everyone does.
  •   I do not give up; I keep trying.
  •   I think about what is good in my life.
  •   Everyone feels good and bad, now and then.
  •   I can do it!
  •   Money cannot buy happiness.
  •   How I act is more important than how I look.
  •   I am lovable.
  •   When I smile, I feel better.
  •   I can do many things well.
  •   I cannot control what grown-ups do.
  •   I am unique, one of a kind.
  •   When I feel sad, I think of things I like about myself.
  •   Each new day brings a chance to do better.
  •   I think about my choices and then choose what is best for me.
  •   I will change what I can and accept what I cannot change.
  •   I treat others the way I want to be treated.
  •   I cannot change my family; I can only change myself.
  •   What I learn today will help me in the future.

After making an extensive list, have the children choose a sentence that is meaningful to them. Ask them to make a picture or poster featuring their saying complete with illustrations. Have them prominently sign their creation. Then divide into small groups or pairs and have the children discuss their work. Caution the students to be respectful of each other’s ideas. Display the results in the classroom or in the hall to challenge ALL children to use positive “self-talk” that will encourage them to do their best.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting
Tags : child development, child therapy, communication, encouragement, feelings, parenting, Play Therapy

April Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· May 8, 2018 
· No Comments

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. -C.S. Lewis

 Blog

April was autism awareness month as well as child abuse prevention month. Our post this month showed the staggering statistics of child abuse, as well as highlighted methods to keep child therapists who work with abused children trained and emotionally healthy. Dr. Gary shared valuable resources for child therapists working with abused children. Read more here.

Articles

Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching the adults around them. That can seem stressful in and of itself, and you might find yourself saying, “Do as I say, not as I do!” But it’s OK for your children to learn their cues from you. You just have to be mindful of what you’re doing when you become emotional, i.e. angry, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, etc. This article outlines how to use your own body and feelings as teaching tools for healthy emotional coping. Read full article here.

Usually the feeling of guilt is an unpleasant one; a heavy one. In this new study,  researcher Amrisha Vaish, of the University of Virginia, finds that the beginning stages of guilt seem to develop around the age of three. Why is this significant? Vaish views the development of guilt as an opportunity for children to learn to make amends, and better foster social relationships. Read full article here.

There are too many factors to count that lead to a child growing into a productive adult with a “good” job. According to Jenny Anderson, letting children play more is a key factor. Playing leads to self discovery and problem solving and, “helping kids play more ‘will equip them to be relevant to the workplace and to society,’ said John Goodwin, CEO of the Lego Foundation and the former chief financial officer for The Lego Group.” Read full article here.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy news, Research and Case Studies, Resources, Trauma and Grief, Wrap Up
Tags : Child Abuse, child therapy, childhood stress, development, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy

How Does Play Therapy Reduce Anxiety in Children? by Joseph Sacks, LCSW

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 24, 2018 
· No Comments

Is your child struggling with anxiety?

Is he or she visibly tense or nervous at different times during the day?

Does he put pressure on himself to get everything perfect, and is distressed when he makes mistakes or things don’t turn out just right?

Do your efforts to get her to relax only make things worse, making you feel powerless to help her?

Do you wonder about Play Therapy and anxiety regarding your child?

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Anxiety is one of the most common disorders in children, affecting over 10 percent of those under 18. Unfortunately, it can rob a child of the happiness that he or she needs so much.

The good news is that Child-Centered Play Therapy, together with Parenting Counseling, can do wonders to reduce and even resolve childhood anxiety!

I have seen it bring improvement with many children!

How does it work?

Often anxiety in children is generated by when a child, because of certain stressors in his or her life, develops feelings of shame and being in a state of low self-esteem. These feelings of low self-worth lead to anxiety in several ways. It may lead some children towards perfectionism, where the child feels badly about himself and tries to redeem himself from those feelings by creating self-imposed pressure to be very good, to have amazing performance or near-perfect output.

The underlying psychological mechanism is that the child reasons,

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“Feeling so badly about myself is intolerable and I feel helpless to remedy it. What can I actively do to fix it? I know, I will be such a good boy, I will work very hard to accomplish amazing things, and then I will be so accomplished that I will be so proud that I will automatically and necessarily feel great about myself! For sure I will no longer feel badly or ashamed.” Along these lines we find the genesis of perfectionism. The problem is that such a strategy can never work, because objective external accomplishments, no matter how great, cannot defuse the cause and fuel of his low self-esteem. So often even after accomplishing much, the child still feels badly, and then resolves to strive even further towards perfection. This can create great anxiety because after all, consistent, perfect performance is impossible, and the child will inevitably almost always fall short of his desired goals, creating great fear of failure.

To learn more about treating perfectionism in teens or older children, click here.

In addition his idealizing of perfect performance leads him to judge himself very harshly when he is imperfect,

generating much shame and anxiety over being stranded in a state of low self-esteem.

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Furthermore, such children may have unfortunately been criticized by people in their life, and they feel they must get everything perfect and achieve amazing things to get themselves beyond the reach of any potential criticism. This pressure generates anxiety.

To learn more about the pitfalls of criticizing children, click here.

Another common cause of anxiety is fear of reprimands and disapproval of the adults in a child’s life.

Children feel very small and powerless compared to adults and they cringe and wither under fear of reprimands, scolding, disapproval and criticism. Some children are constantly worried about not meriting enough approval and avoiding rebuke, and this generates significant anxiety. They feel pressure that they are not Ok they way they presently are, and they constantly have to measure up.

To learn more about the pitfalls of scolding and reprimands, click here.

Sometimes children learn to be anxious by example,

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important people in their lives display anxiety under stress and they learn to do the same, thinking, “They get anxious when such things happen, I guess I should be anxious too!”

Anxious children often engage in something called catastrophizing, where their fears spiral out of control, “Oh no, this is going to happen and then it is going to lead to that, and then that and everything is going to fall apart and be terrible!”

However in the Playroom all of this including perfectionism, low self-esteem, shame, fear of reprimands and disapproval, an anxious example and catastrophizing all get turned around!

How does Play Therapy for anxiety work?

In the Playroom, I don’t tell the child what to do, he or she completely makes all of his own decisions and I follow him, showing great respect and validation for all of his expressed feelings, desires, decisions and needs. This gives the child an exhilarating sense of control over his own life and destiny, leading him to think, “I don’t have to be anxious that things are not going to turn out well. I have the power to make things go the way I want and need, to make things go right!” In this way, his or her anxiety gets reduced right off the bat.

Furthermore, I demonstrate for the child in the Playroom and attitude of complete acceptance, validation and non-evaluation.

In other words, no matter what the child does, I don’t judge or evaluate him, I simply reflect back a pure acceptance of how he chooses to create his own experience. This leads the child to think, “The things I do are Ok, I’m fine just the way I am.”

This all is accomplished through the curious Play Therapy for anxiety technique called tracking,

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where, similar to a sportscaster describing a game, I reflect back to the child verbally every feeling or desire expressed, decision taken or accomplishment earned. For example, when a child picks up a toy to examine it, establish temporary ownership over it, and considers how he is going to play with it, this is important business for him in his world! Therefore I reflect back and enthusiastic , “Oh, now you’ve got that!” This direct, emotionally charged statement shows the child I am celebrating with him his great accomplishment of realizing and honoring his own desire, of controlling his own destiny, of putting into action his own plan to empower himself! This tracking is done constantly for every action, and the character of the verbal expression I make is personally tailored to suit perfectly each move and decision he makes. Over time it does wonders for building self-esteem, because the tracking gives him a criticism and evaluation-free opportunity to view himself in a positive light. By gaining a simple awareness of the uniqueness and special value of each individual aspect of his self as it develops in the playroom, the natural result is the conclusion that “I am doing just great the way I am. I do good things, I don’t need to worry, everything is going to be fine!”

To find out more about how Play Therapy works in general, click here.

Once a 7-year old girl was in the Playroom and a toy broke.

I didn’t try and help or control her, I let her decide what she wanted to do which was to try and fix it. I then reflected back to her a description of each step in her efforts to fix it without judging or evaluation. She eventually was successful in fixing it and exclaimed herself proudly, “I know how to fix things!” That was the creation of true self-esteem right there! Real self-esteem is esteem that needs to come from the self, not the other. If I praise and evaluate a child, she will gain unhealthy other-esteem. The goal of tracking is to get the child to evaluate him or herself, that creates true self-esteem.

For a fascinating discussion of how celebration is better than praise, click here.

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Tracking reduces perfectionism,

as my constant reflection and acceptance shows the child that mediocre, less than perfect performance is just as good as better performance. He learns the beauty of the mundane, the liberation and joy of being just average. He learns that it is not objective, measurable achievement that has real value, but rather it is the honoring of his own desires, his appreciating the uniqueness of his own experience, including his moment to moment feelings and the simple everyday activities of the self, that has true value. Together with my interpersonal celebration of each decision, feeling and simple accomplishment, this greatly relieves any shame he may have been feeling, and drives up his self-confidence and self-esteem, leading him to no longer feel the pressure to achieve perfection and amazing accomplishments.

For a discussion of the benefits of Play Therapy for a child’s emotional health, click here.

Reprimands, criticism, scolding and disapproval, except in case of danger, are practically non-existent in the Playroom.

This gets the child into the habit of being so completely respected, honored, accepted and approved of, that it goes a long way to counterbalance the ill effects of any reprimands he may have received in the past. This greatly reduces his fear and anxiety regarding reprimands. In addition amazingly, it gets the child so used to being treated well that he begins to demand others also treat him likewise outside the session. Once I had an 8-year old who told his father, “Don’t talk to me that way, you need to play with me like Joseph!” The father to his credit took the hint and made changes to his son’s benefit.

99 percent of the time, no matter what the child does in the Playroom, whether he’s unsuccessful at something, accidentally breaks a toy, throws something or spills paint on the wall, my reaction is very relaxed and anxiety-free. Therefore he or she learns the great example, that many different things may happen in life, but there’s no need to get anxious, almost everything is really Ok! One time a 4-year old girl was in the car on the way to our session, and she misbehaved a bit, and her mother said, “Hey you better behave or I’m going to tell Joseph!” She responded, “Oh, Joseph, don’t worry about him, he won’t get angry, he likes me!” She had truly developed the confidence that from me she would get no problems, only good things.

This also reduces catastrophizing, as the child learns from the playroom that things generally have a positive end.

There are so many fantastic benefits of Child-Centered Play Therapy!

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Not only does Play Therapy reduce anxiety, but is totally resolves behavior problems such as tantrums, anger and defiance, reduces symptoms of ADHD and even depression, and generates a wonderful parent-child relationship! In addition it is also my kind heart and all the boundless acts of kindness I bestow upon a child in the Playroom that promotes healing. It is my greatest joy to help a child!

Furthermore, I work with teachers to help reduce academic pressure coming from homework and school. I used to be a teacher and I know how to talk to them. I have gotten teachers to reduce to workload at times when necessary which reduces pressure and anxiety.

The power of Parenting!

There is much that parents can do at home to reduce anxiety in their child. The most important thing to remember is to try to not be anxious yourself, or more specifically not to express anxiety in front of the child. This prevents the child from learning an anxious reaction by example. You need to cultivate the value that “Everything is Ok just the way it is. We have no problems! Everything about you, my child, and almost everything you do is just fine!” Problems may arise, but we take them in stride! We react to them with cool, calm acceptance.

In addition, it pays to avoid criticism, reprimands, scolding and disapproval like the plague! Usually whatever benefit you hope to gain through these things is outweighed by the damage done to the child’s emotional health. It’s wiser to tolerate mischief and mistakes with a smile!

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During Parenting Counseling, I gradually get to know parents and their child, and how the whole family works, and instead of giving so much direct advice, I help parents to develop their own innate wisdom which I am convinced every parent possesses. In this way I help them to develop their own personally tailored plan to resolve their child’s issue. A plan they developed themselves is one they are more likely to cherish and implement.

To find out how Parenting can help reduce ADHD symptoms, click here.

Play Therapy for anxiety, together with Parenting Counseling are the amazing double tools which can resolve almost any child’s anxiety, and most other issues as well!

To find out more about Child-Centered Play Therapy, click here.

Please be advised that the above represents a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect parents to be perfect. So have patience with yourself and try to adopt new ideas gradually.

***

Joseph Sacks is a child psychotherapist in lower Manhattan. He specializes in using Child-Centered Play Therapy to resolve behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, anger and ADHD. It is amazing how well Play Therapy works to resolve these issues!

In addition Joseph helps parents to develop their own unique parenting approach to resolve their children’s issues. The parent-child relationship is the most important element in any child’s life, and by simply tuning up that relationship, we can have a tremendously beneficial effect. Joseph has written over 120 fascinating and well-researched articles on parenting and Play Therapy, which can be found at Tribecaplaytherapy.com.

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : anxiety, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy gams, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys

December Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 3, 2018 
· No Comments

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. – Kay Redfield Jamison

Blog

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for the wonderful play therapy termination activity. Stumped on how to end play therapy with a client on a warm and optimistic note? Try creating a chain on intentions with your exiting clients and let them leave as lasting an impression on your therapy room as you have had on them! Each link is a added as a client leaves therapy and each has it’s own message of positive intention for live post therapy. As time goes on, the chain, and the optimism, grows! What a creative and fun way to provide closure for your client.  Read more here!

Articles

In Perry Klass, M.D.’s article, she explains how exposure therapy can be instrumental in helping children to overcome anxiety. All children can experience worry and fear, but when that fear interferes with the child’s functioning, or inhibits them from learning or growing,  It may be time to seek help from a professional. Dr. Stephen P.H Whiteside of the Mayo Clinic, believes that exposing a child to whatever is causing the anxiety in a controlled and supportive environment will help them to overcome their fear and learn to cope with new fears. Anxiety manifests itself differently in children, even physically. A child can suffer some headaches and stomach pains due to anxiety. Not every child requires intervention for their anxiety, read the full article to know the signs of anxiety disorders and when to get help here.

December is the season of giving, but for some, it becomes the season of buying- Toys. We’re all guilty of wanting to give the young ones in our lives the world, or at least all the toys in the world, but according to the University of Toledo, when it comes to toys for children, less is more. Toddlers and children who have few toys actually play with more focus and creativity, which causes them to develop their imagination earlier, which can help with problem solving later in life. So when play time rolls around, choose quality versus quantity. Read full article here.

Should you let your child believe in Santa? Research in the field of developmental psychology actually cites some benefits to not only letting your child believe in Santa, but encouraging them to question and provide answers to the magic surrounding Santa Clause and all his fantastical feats. When they do discover that Santa is but a beloved Christmas myth, studies have shown that it’s actually the parents who are more upset than the children, who tend to feel part of a savvy community of “knowers,” rather than feeling betrayed or lied to. Another tip: Just because the belief in Santa stops, doesn’t mean the caliber of gifts given has to. If the big presents come from the parents every year, then when your child stops believing in Santa, they wont worry about what that means for Christmas morning festivities. Read full article here.

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Categories : Anxiety, Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : anxiety, child development, child play therapy toys, child therapy, therapy toys

Play Therapy Termination Activity: The Chain of Intentions by Jennifer Taylor

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· December 21, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Termination of play therapy services can be difficult for the counselor and the child. The relationship formed during the months of therapy is one of the most important aspects of the process. Termination activities differ across settings:  some offices provide certificates and some simply said good bye.

Today, I will share a termination activity that has been quite popular in my office.

The truth is that it is also a goal setting activity. So, you can use it at the beginning and the end of therapy.

It started way back in January 2016….I like to call it the Chain of Intentions.

The Inspiration for This Termination Activity

The Chain of Intentions was inspired by a commercial that I watched about the My Intent Project.  According to their webpage,

We believe there is purpose inside each of us and we want our efforts to encourage people to share more truth and inspiration with each other. We are not a jewelry company – we are an intentions project-My Intent Project

Despite their claim not to be a jewelry company, they do in fact, make jewelry. The customer chooses a word of inspiration to have marked on a disc and uses that as inspiration or motivation in their daily life.

(Note…I have no affiliation with the My Intent project and have received no financial compensation from them…this is purely background).

So, I ordered one with my intention for my play therapy practice.

My word was FOCUS.

Focus on PLAY THERAPY.

See, I have a habit of saying yes to all opportunities. Those things were taking me away from my core mission which was to use play therapy to help children deal with trauma or other difficulties at home or in school.

I needed to FOCUS.

But, because I could not buy a necklace as a termination gift for each or my clients, I came up with a way to create a chain of intentions with all of the (willing) clients and students that came to my office.

Chain of Intention Instructions:

  1. I started by tying a very long piece of yarn to the air ducts in my office to form a string that went from one end of my office to the other. You could do this by tying it to a nail or a hook of any kind.
  2. Cut out strips of construction paper by folding in half vertically and then folding in half again. You will get 4 strips for each standard sheet.
  3. Using a marker, I wrote my word FOCUS and made the first circle around the piece of yarn. It was very sad and lonely all by itself. 
  4. As children noticed it and started to ask about it, I told them the story about the necklace that I just told you.   Now..even though I said this was a termination activity, it can also be a treatment goal activity.
  5. If a child wanted to create an intention as a treatment plan goal, I allowed them to make a strip with a word about what they wanted to achieve during their therapy visits. Children choose things like listen, happy, create, design, friends.   Make sure that the intention is positive. So no chains that say “Stop, no, don’t.”
  6. I had the child stand on a chair and link their strip onto mine (or the last one up) and then staple it themselves so that their word of intention was visible.
  7. At the end of therapy, the child would either create another strip (or do one for the first time if they were not interested in doing a goal strip) that said what they learned during the therapy. Or sometimes, it was a benefit or just something they wanted to continue working on. Their INTENTION after our services ended. Some wrote happy, friends, joy, connection, success. Again, I had the child write the word, put it up and staple it themselves.
  8. If children were too young to spell, they tried their best. Or they drew a picture. Sometimes, I wrote the word down and they copied it.

 

 

Thoughts on Termination

The end result was a way for them to leave something behind. A testament to the power of therapy and the work that was accomplished. A motivation for other children that success was possible. And a vision for their future about what could help guide them after therapy was over.

My goal was to get from one side of the room to the other. It took the entire year. My office is big! But as it grew, it became a fixture in the office and I am excited to take it down and start again. And a little sad to see it go. I am thinking that I can use it as a garland for my office Christmas tree. A symbolic way to honor the work of the year and transition into the intentions for the new one.

***

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for an other great reader submission! Check out more from Jennifer at jentaylorplaytherapy.com

Have a post you would like to feature on our page? Let us know!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : Play Therapy, sand play, sand play therapy, sand therapy, sand tray therapy, sandplay therapy, sandtray therapy, termination of play therapy, termination of therapy, therapy tools
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