“The activities that are the easiest, cheapest, and most fun to do – such as singing, playing games, reading, storytelling, and just talking and listening – are also the best for child development.” – Jerome Singer (professor, Yale University)
“The activities that are the easiest, cheapest, and most fun to do – such as singing, playing games, reading, storytelling, and just talking and listening – are also the best for child development.” – Jerome Singer (professor, Yale University)
Questions about “must have” toys get asked so many times by clinicians new to the field of play therapy. And, the answers can vary widely. I’ve given parents some of my favorite toys in the past.
The foundation for play therapy training for a lot of clinicians is Dr. Garry Landreth and Child Centered Play Therapy. He advises that play therapists include several toys from each of three categories. Note that this list does not include everything that would fit into each category (they are just examples) and also that you do need everything on any list
When doing more structured or directive play therapy interventions, you usually need things like:
It can be quite easy to find excellent toys everywhere you go. And Dr. Garry Landreth reminds us all to beware of the urge to get everything. He says in his book, The Art of the Relationship, “Toys should be selected, not collected.”
And I created this infographic to summarize my thoughts on creating the perfect play therapy space that you might find helpful.
But, I just recently heard it explained in a wonderful way by a colleague, Dr. Jessica Stone, who responded to this very question during a discussion board about the Play Therapy Summit. She gave me permission to share it with you:
Hi all, I like to take an approach of collecting gems along my way in this field. I am not sure I could identify the one thing my office couldn’t live without. It is complex. Is that my personal favorite thing? Or my client’s? Or the majority of my clients? What comprises a favorite thing?
I believe what we have in our offices needs to be a balance of 1) what is congruent with who we are, what we believe, what our theoretical foundation is, what our space allows comfortably, etc. and 2) what speaks our client’s language, what helps our clients speak, what speaks to our clients, what allows them to experience feeling heard, seen, important, and understood.
I like to take a gem from Maria Montessori and think of the tools in my office as a way of scaffolding within the office. There are items that fit where they are in this moment, items that help them move forward, and items that work when they need to regress a bit.
Sometimes these tools aren’t our preferred or favorite. Sometimes they are. As I look around my office in response to your question I think about the clients who use the majority of the tools in my office on any given day but I also think about that one client, the one who found the tool that meant the most to them and they used it in the most amazing way – whatever that meant for them – Jessica Stone, Ph.D., RPT-S”
As I was packing up my office to move out of the state this week, I found Dr Stone’s words especially helpful. I usually play loud music when doing tasks like this, but this time, I held each of the toys and remembered the children that used them and how they used them. It was a mix of joy and sadness as I reflected on all of those shared moments in this specific playroom.
In the end, I would recommend selecting a few items from each of Dr. Garry Landreth’s categories and then considering Dr. Stone’s advice about seeing the value of all the different toys in the playroom. But, know that whatever you have is enough. As long as you are in the room, focusing on the relationship with the child and responding in an authentic manner
**The post What are the “Must Have” Toys for a New Play Therapist? appeared first on Jennifer Taylor Play Therapy.
“Play is the highest form of research.”
– Albert Einstein
Donna Hammontree had some great reasons for keeping those creepy play therapy dolls in your playroom. Even though they may not be the playroom favorites, they can often be implemented by a child to portray someone or something related to fear, anger, anxiety, and even guilt. “They may hide the dolls, lock them up with my play chain, or throw them away in a pretend garbage can. Sometimes they add guards around the dolls to provide extra security. Or, we may dress up as a superhero and find the dolls together. This frequently leads to better coping at home,” said Hammontree of her practice with the dolls. Read the full post here!
It’s back to school time and that means back to school stress. Each new grade comes with new challenges- and new fears. The best way to curb back to school anxiety is to talk to yours kids and make sure they know that just because they feel nervous about something doesn’t make it bad or scary. Its OK to feel that way about things. Dinner conversations and unstructured play time are the best ways to debrief and find relief from the stressors of new school experiences. Read full article here!
Childhood stress is on the rise according to Julia Grochowski. Stress in children does not manifest itself in the same ways as adults. When a child doesn’t have the language to express what they are feeling they may say that they feel badly physically. They may have a tummy or head ache. The best way to differentiate between a tress induced ache and a physical ache is to pay close attention to when the child is experiencing it. If it is consistently occurring during a time of possible stress (school, tests, homework, etc.) There is a good chance that the child is not being difficult or sick, but that they are stressed. Read full article here!
Teen years are some of the hardest to navigate for parent and child. Dr. Sheryl Ziegler says the best way to close the gap between you and your teen is with more listening and less criticism. Parents who have teens who are active on social media should also be familiar with the social media platforms. Focus on common experiences. Read the full article here!
Freddie Krueger. Chuckie. Jason.
Parents and children alike ask me, “Why do you have those in here?”
I respond, “Why do you think I have those in here?”
Gary Yorke, PhD, recommended 1 or more of the play therapy dolls as good resources for the playroom. I was skeptical but bought 3. Deciding to assess the use of them for myself, I have determined there are multiple uses for the creepy therapy toys.
To communicate anger
A child may use the doll to let a therapist/school counselor/teacher/parent know he is angry with the adult for any reason by shaking the doll at the adult.
The creepy doll may be thrown across the room or beaten up to express anger at any bad experiences or people.
To communicate that a person has scared the child
A child who has been traumatized may ventilate that fear by using 1 or more of the dolls. Sometimes that fear may come from watching scary movies; in that case, I guide care takers in being more selective in visual experiences.
To express identification with, ventilate about, or gain control over one’s own creepiness
Children on the Autism Spectrum or with physical differences may use the dolls to process how they are treated by peers on the school playground.
To express identification with the oppositional and defiant nature of the dolls
A child who presents with defiance, for whatever reason, may identify with the dolls and act out that oppositional stance.
To gain control of one’s anxieties and unrealistic fears
Some children ask me to hide the dolls as they are afraid of the dolls. I may do so in a very early session but soon have the child take responsibility for the fear and find a way to cope with the creepy dolls themselves. They may hide the dolls, lock them up with my play chain, or throw them away in a pretend garbage can. Sometimes they add guards around the dolls to provide extra security. Or, we may dress up as a superhero and find the dolls together. This frequently leads to better coping at home.
To communicate low self-esteem, worthlessness, guilt
Play using the dolls may involve being bad and in trouble. I work to validate the feelings in the play and then acknowledge the creepy doll’s life experiences, such as mistreated, hurt, surviving difficult times, trying to protect himself.
To express whatever the child needs to vent about
Children will use the dolls or avoid them to communicate thoughts and feelings about situations that I may never fully understand. Being client-centered and open to their experiences is the key.
The professional benefits from an individual and family assessment of the client and knowledge of the child’s experience to fully understand and best respond to the child’s play. On the other hand, being in the moment with the child and aware of the therapists’ own emotional responses to the client is often enough to further assess, validate, encourage an adaptive response by the child.
“Why do you have those in here?”
Therapist’s response, “Please tell me!”
***
Donna is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist/Supervisor in private practice, in Savannah, GA. Visit her website: http://www.donnahammontree.com/
My playroom shelves are packed full of therapy games. I mean, really packed. I have well over a hundred therapy and counseling games on my shelves. As the president of the largest US publisher of therapeutic and counseling games, I have a lot more options than most child clinicians when it comes to acquiring games and selecting the ones I want to use in my sessions. Most of the time I try to be prescriptive. That is, I select games and activities most appropriate to the client I’m meeting with. Despite taking this approach I find myself gravitating to some games much more than others. Below are some of the games that I’m getting the most out of right now, and would recommend to my fellow clinicians for their play therapy practices.
Yes I Can! Handle My Anger – I’m a little biased, since I developed this activity. The Yes I Can! Handle My Anger game is designed to help participants understand and appreciate various aspects of being angry. There are three types of cards designed to help participants identify triggers for anger, identify positive and negative behaviors associated with anger, and identify thoughts associated with anger. Developing anger management skills is aided by discussion and role playing during the game. Participants use the cards to spell out “Yes I Can!” as they play, which keeps them interested and engaged.
Bridge Over Worried Waters – Anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health problems during childhood and adolescence. Anxiety affects normal day-to-day activities and causes considerable emotional and physical distress as well as impaired academic and social functioning. Bridge Over Worried Waters is designed to support treatment of anxiety disorders in children ages 6-13 years old. The game incorporates relaxation, positive self-talk, and other coping behaviors into a game format. I like this game because it teaches concrete skills as well as providing lots of opportunities for discussion and exploration.
The Social & Emotional Competence Board Game – The Social and Emotional Competence Board Game was designed to give counselors and teachers another tool to teach social and emotional skills. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain relationships with others. The Social and Emotional Competence Game is a fun way to teach empathy, communication skills, self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, self-management, and responsible decision-making. Of course, I’m biased about this game since I developed it as well. It has turned out to be one of our best-selling games and I’ve received a lot of positive feedback.
The Social & Emotional Competence Card Game (ADHD cards) – The Social and Emotional Competence Game Card Set (Revised) can be used with the Social and Emotional Competence Board Game or as a stand alone card game. I use it both ways. The goal is to educate players about a specific disorder and provide skills for managing the disorder. There are five decks of cards, one for each disorder: Anxiety, Depression ADHD, Asperger’s, and Bipolar Disorder. When playing the board game, any of the five decks can be substituted for the Communication cards. The cards are used to facilitate an appreciation and understanding of the child’s difficulties, and develop strategies for managing and coping with their challenges. I have been using the ADHD and Anxiety cards, without the board, a lot lately. There are no time constraints and the game can be played for 5 minutes or 15. The game is over whenever time runs out.
Dr. Playwell’s Don’t Stress Game – Stress is a factor that contributes to almost every mental health problem. Stress can affect a child’s physical health, too. This is an engaging game helps children develop some of the skills they need to deal with all kinds of stress, including both developmental and situational problems. I’ve found that this game engages kids well.
Boundaries Baseball – Boundaries Baseball helps children understand and respect boundaries. Boundaries are essential for positive relationships with peers and adults; children who act out are often asking for the security of clear boundaries and the skills needed to respect them. Boundaries Baseball utilizes a baseball diamond format as a visual reminder for not going out of bounds. As part of the action of the play, participants will also have opportunities to toss a ball so that it stays within the boundaries of a strike zone. Game cards teach four kinds of boundaries: (1) Saying and accepting No, (2) Managing strong emotions, (3) Respecting personal space and property, and (4) Relationship/communication limits (friendship). This is another very engaging game.
Thanks to Amy Flaherty for helping us get the sand toys organized. Shelf by shelf she reshaped the room that helps her client’s shape their sandtrays! If you need to organize your playroom and you need ideas for how, this is the post for you! Click here to read more!
Stacy Garcia re-invented the classic board game Sorry! and made it a great fit for her play therapy practice. Stacy believes that any game can be implemented as an effective tool for intervention and to help her clients learn. Read about how she uses Sorry! here.
The Stellenbosch University of South Africa has done a study that shows that the emotional and behavioral health of teens with PTSD can be dramatically improved with therapy intervention. The treatment consisted of prolonged exposure therapy or supportive counselling in up to 14 sessions of 60 to 90 minutes each. The children who received the individual therapy maintained the benefits of the counseling longer then those who received group therapy session. For more information click here.
A new medication is being tested for autistic children that is thought to be helpful in children up to 14 years old. Tests so far on the drug have an effect that “restarts a more normal pattern of neurological development.” More testing is needed on the drug before it will be approved and available to the public. For more information click here.
While medication can be helpful to children with ADHD, a new study has shown that a more effective treatment may include Neurofeedback (NF), a form of behavioral therapy which aims to build skills in cortical self-regulation, in addition to medication. There are still more studies needed for NF training and its effect on children with ADHD. For more information click here.
I’ve told you in my last two posts about how much I love using games in therapy, especially with children and adolescents. I’ve already explored how I use the games Jenga and Find It in therapy sessions, thus using otherwise “non-therapeutic” games and turning them into effective therapeutic interventions that I can use for multiple purposes. Like Jenga and Find It, I use numerous other “non-therapeutic” and therapeutic games to teach various topics and skills to my clients. If you’re new to reading this blog, the difference between “therapeutic” and “non-therapeutic” games is nothing more than what their intent and purpose were when they were created.
“Non-therapeutic” games are those that you can find at your local department store in the game aisle, such as UNO and Scrabble. In my own experience, I have found that ANY game can be made therapeutic, just like any game can also be made educational. Today’s game is a popular classic among board games: Sorry! I use the game Sorry! to teach children to take responsibility for their behaviors and actions, as well as to demonstrate through role play how and when to apologize.
To start the game of Sorry!, each player chooses a pawn color and places his four pawns on the matching colored START circle. The included pack of game cards are shuffled and placed face down on the space marked “PLACE PACK” in the center of the game board. Then game play begins around the board. A player draws the top card from the pack and places it face up onto the “DISCARD” space on the board. He follows the card’s directions, moving his pawn a number of spaces. When a move ends on a square already occupied by an opponent, the opponent’s pawn is bumped back to his START.
Regardless of whether in his favor or not, a player must make a move with one of his pawns as directed by the card he has drawn. The player who first moves all four of his pieces from his START to his HOME of the same color wins the game. The frustration Sorry! usually elicits in its players is often attributed to the cards’ directions not being in one’s favor, as well as being bumped back to his START space, either as a result of his opponent or because he has drawn a Sorry! card forcing him to land in an unfavorable position.
Enter Therapeutic So Sorry! When playing the game in therapy, I add So Sorry! cards. Each time a pawn is bumped back to its START circle, the opponent who caused the bump back must draw a So Sorry! card. These are cards with questions and role play tasks in which the player has to either discuss or role play his taking responsibility for pretend behaviors and actions in which he should be “so sorry.” The set of cards also includes questions about the client’s own behaviors/actions and prompts them to explore whether he needs to take responsibility for said actions. To use the “So Sorry!” cards that I have, you can click here. Game play resumes as normal after the So Sorry! task has been completed.
Therapeutic So Sorry! is a lot of fun to play, and I’ve found it especially helpful when working with children who have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and those with behavior and/or impulsivity disorders. It can also be used to reinforce appropriate social skills to use when having to take responsibility for one’s behavior. Best of all, the children I work with love playing the game just as much as I do!
***
“Following attainment of a B.S. in Psychology in 2001, I earned my M.A. in Counseling from West Virginia University in 2004. I returned later to obtain certification in School Counseling.
I have extensive experience in working with children and adolescents, though I also see adults. I also specialize in treatment of trauma-related issues and concerns (including PTSD), behavior disorders (such as Oppositional Behavior Disorder), and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I am skilled at working with parents and families who are experiencing issues at home, focusing on each individual’s strengths and needs while they rebuild the family unit.”
“Whoever wants to understand much must play much.” – Gottfried Benn (German physician 1886–1956)
Thanks to Clair Mellenthin for her submission about spring cleaning. Clearing out and letting go of physical, emotional, and mental baggage can make for a cleaner playroom and a happier you! Check out Clair’s tips to a happier, freer space here!
The Southern Sandtray posted 50 free sandtray directives! These are great ideas for building trays with a variety of topics and subjects. Try some or all of these directives with your clients.
The autism spectrum is very broad and interventions vary dramatically from child to child. two key factor that rings true for all intervention plans is: the earlier the better, and make it a team effort! All parties- parents, teachers, and treatment providers- must be in communication and working together to make the treatment effective. Consistency is key.
According to research done by researchers at the University of Rochester Mt. Hope Family Center and the University of Minnesota Institute of Child Development, children benefit from their mother’s therapy. Research has shown that mothers with depression who participated in interpersonal psychotherapy became better at reading and understanding their toddler’s temperament, essentially making them better parents, while the toddlers became less fussy and angry, making them easier to parent. The relationship thrives which is better for mother and child’s development.
Some pediatricians have started asking their young patients to complete a questionnaire about depression. Early detection of depression in children and teens is crucial to ensure that they receive the care and support they need. Childhood depression is much more common than healthcare professionals knew in previous years. It is important to recognition of mental illness as well as awareness for physicians to always question and screen for mental illness in their young patients.
Watching your children suffer from irrational beliefs and partaking in bizarre rituals is heartbreaking. The parenting handbook left out the chapter on how to parent children with OCD. How are you supposed to react? How can you help them stop their compulsive behavior? Should you be stern? Should you ignore it?
Parenting a child with OCD is one of the hardest jobs a parent will ever have to face.
Repeatedly I sit on the opposite side of the couch talking to nervous and uncomfortable children. They whisper to me how they have silly beliefs. I offer them reassurance and they reluctantly tell me more. They sheepishly tell me how they must touch corners, or count in their head, or wash their hands every time they have a bad thought. They apologize for their bizarre thoughts and stare at me, waiting for me to officially declare them “crazy.”
No matter how often this happens it breaks my heart. I tell the children that I have heard this before. That they are not alone. That there is a name for this. That it is common. And that there is help. Their eyes open wide and they say, “there is?!” with palpable relief.
You can help your children by explaining to them what OCD is and how it affects their thinking. If you don’t understand OCD yourself, it is helpful to acquire this knowledge so you are better prepared to help your child. If you are unsure of the signs of OCD read OCD in Children: Are you Missing the Signs.
There are some great books that help children understand OCD on a child-friendly level. Some parents shy away from using the word OCD, but I have found that children find great comfort in knowing that their issue has a name and that they are not alone. My favorite children’s book on OCD is What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck by Dawn Huebner. An informative book for parents is What to Do When Your Child Has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Aureen Wagner.
Often children don’t know how to talk about their OCD. They are embarrassed by their thoughts. They are dependent on their rituals. When you tell them to stop doing ritualistic behavior they may feel like you are attacking them – not their OCD. They sometimes feel angry. Why would you tell me to stop doing something that is keeping me “safe.”
Help your children externalize their OCD by giving it a name. You can call it Mr. Worry or Mr. Bossy. Some kids like to get creative and come up with their own names. I have had kids call it Mr. Germs or Mr. Numbers depending on their OCD theme.
One approach is to tell your child something like:
Mr. Bossy is a trickster and he likes to boss you around and make you feel worried. He wants you to avoid stuff and follow his silly rules. When you do what he wants he grows bigger. When he grows bigger he can bother you more. When you turn into Super (insert your child’s name here) – you can fight Mr. Bossy and beat him. When you ignore him, or argue about his silly rules, you shrink him and make him smaller – less powerful.
Books on OCD can help you reiterate this message or help you create one of your own if this approach doesn’t resonate with you or your child.
When your child has a problem you want to fix it as soon as you can. This can make parents overzealous with their efforts to beat their child’s OCD for them. Unfortunately, this is your child’s battle. You can offer your help and guidance, but you can’t fix this for your child. In fact, if you point out every ritualistic behavior you see – you may unintentionally cause your children to become more secretive about their OCD issues. Stopping ritualistic behavior does not happen overnight. Initial success may be as simple as them just recognizing it is an OCD thought or being able to briefly delay a ritual.
One area you do have control over is your participation in rituals. Some children involve their parents in their ritualistic behavior. If possible, you do not want to enable or participate in rituals. You can tell your child, “I am not helping Mr. Bossy boss you around. You can listen to him, but I won’t!” This might take some time to build up to if you’ve been participating in their rituals for a while.
Children can get defensive about their rules and rituals and they may not want you to recognize any new rules or behaviors. Even though children do not want to have OCD, they are often slaves to the rituals that provide them with brief relief from their worrying. Therefore, it is important to keep an eye out for odd or irrational behavior.
Often when one type of OCD behavior has been eliminated – another rule or behavior replaces it. That is why it is important to give your children the skills to beat OCD and not just the specific behavior or rule they are currently doing. When you discover your children are doing a new ritual gently address this with them and let them know you are here to help them beat Mr. Bossy.
OCD can be a challenging issue! It can consume little minds and impede their social and emotional growth. The sooner children are given the skills to overcome their OCD the better the long-term prognosis will be. I encourage you to follow these tips, educate yourself by reading books on OCD and seek out professional guidance and support for you and your child as needed.
For more information and resources on OCD you can visit iocdf.org or take this quick 8 minute Video Lesson on how to parent a child with OCD here.
If you know a family struggling to parent a child with OCD, share this article with them.
Bio:
Natasha Daniels is a child therapist and author of Anxiety Sucks! A Teen Survival Guide and How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler. She is the creator of AnxiousToddlers.com and the parenting E-Course How to Teach Your Kids to Crush Anxiety. Her work has been featured on various sites including Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and The Mighty. She can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest or making parenting videos for Curious.com.
Cognitive restructuring occurs regularly in the playroom as a child experiences the therapist’s full acceptance. Teaching cognitive restructuring, however, may expedite the process of having a child experience heartfelt self-acceptance. A useful analogy is that of a school teacher teaching classroom rules. The teacher will allow students to learn classroom rules throughout the first week of school through experience, but prior to that experience, the teacher will verbally share the rules, and may even write them out and post them.
Here are a few ways a play therapist can teach cognitive restructuring:
“You don’t think you can do it.” (I am helpless or powerless.)
“So, nobody likes you?” (I am worthless.)
“Your teacher should do it your way.” (I should be in charge.)
A cautionary note: Some children are truly unloved and taught that they do nothing right. In these cases, these interventions may not be appropriate in the early stages of therapy, and will need to be preceded by other interventions. It is also important to note that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has two parts: cognitive restructuring and behavioral change. Children are able to learn new beliefs about the world, their relationships, and themselves by understanding cognitive restructuring. They will also need to practice new behaviors, reinforced with new beliefs, to experience heartfelt change.
Celebrate feeling happier!
Donna is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist/Supervisor in private practice, in Savannah, GA. Visit her website: http://www.donnahammontree.com/