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Archive for Feelings – Page 2

How Does Play Therapy Reduce Anxiety in Children? by Joseph Sacks, LCSW

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 24, 2018 
· No Comments

Is your child struggling with anxiety?

Is he or she visibly tense or nervous at different times during the day?

Does he put pressure on himself to get everything perfect, and is distressed when he makes mistakes or things don’t turn out just right?

Do your efforts to get her to relax only make things worse, making you feel powerless to help her?

Do you wonder about Play Therapy and anxiety regarding your child?

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Anxiety is one of the most common disorders in children, affecting over 10 percent of those under 18. Unfortunately, it can rob a child of the happiness that he or she needs so much.

The good news is that Child-Centered Play Therapy, together with Parenting Counseling, can do wonders to reduce and even resolve childhood anxiety!

I have seen it bring improvement with many children!

How does it work?

Often anxiety in children is generated by when a child, because of certain stressors in his or her life, develops feelings of shame and being in a state of low self-esteem. These feelings of low self-worth lead to anxiety in several ways. It may lead some children towards perfectionism, where the child feels badly about himself and tries to redeem himself from those feelings by creating self-imposed pressure to be very good, to have amazing performance or near-perfect output.

The underlying psychological mechanism is that the child reasons,

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“Feeling so badly about myself is intolerable and I feel helpless to remedy it. What can I actively do to fix it? I know, I will be such a good boy, I will work very hard to accomplish amazing things, and then I will be so accomplished that I will be so proud that I will automatically and necessarily feel great about myself! For sure I will no longer feel badly or ashamed.” Along these lines we find the genesis of perfectionism. The problem is that such a strategy can never work, because objective external accomplishments, no matter how great, cannot defuse the cause and fuel of his low self-esteem. So often even after accomplishing much, the child still feels badly, and then resolves to strive even further towards perfection. This can create great anxiety because after all, consistent, perfect performance is impossible, and the child will inevitably almost always fall short of his desired goals, creating great fear of failure.

To learn more about treating perfectionism in teens or older children, click here.

In addition his idealizing of perfect performance leads him to judge himself very harshly when he is imperfect,

generating much shame and anxiety over being stranded in a state of low self-esteem.

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Furthermore, such children may have unfortunately been criticized by people in their life, and they feel they must get everything perfect and achieve amazing things to get themselves beyond the reach of any potential criticism. This pressure generates anxiety.

To learn more about the pitfalls of criticizing children, click here.

Another common cause of anxiety is fear of reprimands and disapproval of the adults in a child’s life.

Children feel very small and powerless compared to adults and they cringe and wither under fear of reprimands, scolding, disapproval and criticism. Some children are constantly worried about not meriting enough approval and avoiding rebuke, and this generates significant anxiety. They feel pressure that they are not Ok they way they presently are, and they constantly have to measure up.

To learn more about the pitfalls of scolding and reprimands, click here.

Sometimes children learn to be anxious by example,

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important people in their lives display anxiety under stress and they learn to do the same, thinking, “They get anxious when such things happen, I guess I should be anxious too!”

Anxious children often engage in something called catastrophizing, where their fears spiral out of control, “Oh no, this is going to happen and then it is going to lead to that, and then that and everything is going to fall apart and be terrible!”

However in the Playroom all of this including perfectionism, low self-esteem, shame, fear of reprimands and disapproval, an anxious example and catastrophizing all get turned around!

How does Play Therapy for anxiety work?

In the Playroom, I don’t tell the child what to do, he or she completely makes all of his own decisions and I follow him, showing great respect and validation for all of his expressed feelings, desires, decisions and needs. This gives the child an exhilarating sense of control over his own life and destiny, leading him to think, “I don’t have to be anxious that things are not going to turn out well. I have the power to make things go the way I want and need, to make things go right!” In this way, his or her anxiety gets reduced right off the bat.

Furthermore, I demonstrate for the child in the Playroom and attitude of complete acceptance, validation and non-evaluation.

In other words, no matter what the child does, I don’t judge or evaluate him, I simply reflect back a pure acceptance of how he chooses to create his own experience. This leads the child to think, “The things I do are Ok, I’m fine just the way I am.”

This all is accomplished through the curious Play Therapy for anxiety technique called tracking,

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where, similar to a sportscaster describing a game, I reflect back to the child verbally every feeling or desire expressed, decision taken or accomplishment earned. For example, when a child picks up a toy to examine it, establish temporary ownership over it, and considers how he is going to play with it, this is important business for him in his world! Therefore I reflect back and enthusiastic , “Oh, now you’ve got that!” This direct, emotionally charged statement shows the child I am celebrating with him his great accomplishment of realizing and honoring his own desire, of controlling his own destiny, of putting into action his own plan to empower himself! This tracking is done constantly for every action, and the character of the verbal expression I make is personally tailored to suit perfectly each move and decision he makes. Over time it does wonders for building self-esteem, because the tracking gives him a criticism and evaluation-free opportunity to view himself in a positive light. By gaining a simple awareness of the uniqueness and special value of each individual aspect of his self as it develops in the playroom, the natural result is the conclusion that “I am doing just great the way I am. I do good things, I don’t need to worry, everything is going to be fine!”

To find out more about how Play Therapy works in general, click here.

Once a 7-year old girl was in the Playroom and a toy broke.

I didn’t try and help or control her, I let her decide what she wanted to do which was to try and fix it. I then reflected back to her a description of each step in her efforts to fix it without judging or evaluation. She eventually was successful in fixing it and exclaimed herself proudly, “I know how to fix things!” That was the creation of true self-esteem right there! Real self-esteem is esteem that needs to come from the self, not the other. If I praise and evaluate a child, she will gain unhealthy other-esteem. The goal of tracking is to get the child to evaluate him or herself, that creates true self-esteem.

For a fascinating discussion of how celebration is better than praise, click here.

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Tracking reduces perfectionism,

as my constant reflection and acceptance shows the child that mediocre, less than perfect performance is just as good as better performance. He learns the beauty of the mundane, the liberation and joy of being just average. He learns that it is not objective, measurable achievement that has real value, but rather it is the honoring of his own desires, his appreciating the uniqueness of his own experience, including his moment to moment feelings and the simple everyday activities of the self, that has true value. Together with my interpersonal celebration of each decision, feeling and simple accomplishment, this greatly relieves any shame he may have been feeling, and drives up his self-confidence and self-esteem, leading him to no longer feel the pressure to achieve perfection and amazing accomplishments.

For a discussion of the benefits of Play Therapy for a child’s emotional health, click here.

Reprimands, criticism, scolding and disapproval, except in case of danger, are practically non-existent in the Playroom.

This gets the child into the habit of being so completely respected, honored, accepted and approved of, that it goes a long way to counterbalance the ill effects of any reprimands he may have received in the past. This greatly reduces his fear and anxiety regarding reprimands. In addition amazingly, it gets the child so used to being treated well that he begins to demand others also treat him likewise outside the session. Once I had an 8-year old who told his father, “Don’t talk to me that way, you need to play with me like Joseph!” The father to his credit took the hint and made changes to his son’s benefit.

99 percent of the time, no matter what the child does in the Playroom, whether he’s unsuccessful at something, accidentally breaks a toy, throws something or spills paint on the wall, my reaction is very relaxed and anxiety-free. Therefore he or she learns the great example, that many different things may happen in life, but there’s no need to get anxious, almost everything is really Ok! One time a 4-year old girl was in the car on the way to our session, and she misbehaved a bit, and her mother said, “Hey you better behave or I’m going to tell Joseph!” She responded, “Oh, Joseph, don’t worry about him, he won’t get angry, he likes me!” She had truly developed the confidence that from me she would get no problems, only good things.

This also reduces catastrophizing, as the child learns from the playroom that things generally have a positive end.

There are so many fantastic benefits of Child-Centered Play Therapy!

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Not only does Play Therapy reduce anxiety, but is totally resolves behavior problems such as tantrums, anger and defiance, reduces symptoms of ADHD and even depression, and generates a wonderful parent-child relationship! In addition it is also my kind heart and all the boundless acts of kindness I bestow upon a child in the Playroom that promotes healing. It is my greatest joy to help a child!

Furthermore, I work with teachers to help reduce academic pressure coming from homework and school. I used to be a teacher and I know how to talk to them. I have gotten teachers to reduce to workload at times when necessary which reduces pressure and anxiety.

The power of Parenting!

There is much that parents can do at home to reduce anxiety in their child. The most important thing to remember is to try to not be anxious yourself, or more specifically not to express anxiety in front of the child. This prevents the child from learning an anxious reaction by example. You need to cultivate the value that “Everything is Ok just the way it is. We have no problems! Everything about you, my child, and almost everything you do is just fine!” Problems may arise, but we take them in stride! We react to them with cool, calm acceptance.

In addition, it pays to avoid criticism, reprimands, scolding and disapproval like the plague! Usually whatever benefit you hope to gain through these things is outweighed by the damage done to the child’s emotional health. It’s wiser to tolerate mischief and mistakes with a smile!

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During Parenting Counseling, I gradually get to know parents and their child, and how the whole family works, and instead of giving so much direct advice, I help parents to develop their own innate wisdom which I am convinced every parent possesses. In this way I help them to develop their own personally tailored plan to resolve their child’s issue. A plan they developed themselves is one they are more likely to cherish and implement.

To find out how Parenting can help reduce ADHD symptoms, click here.

Play Therapy for anxiety, together with Parenting Counseling are the amazing double tools which can resolve almost any child’s anxiety, and most other issues as well!

To find out more about Child-Centered Play Therapy, click here.

Please be advised that the above represents a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect parents to be perfect. So have patience with yourself and try to adopt new ideas gradually.

***

Joseph Sacks is a child psychotherapist in lower Manhattan. He specializes in using Child-Centered Play Therapy to resolve behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, anger and ADHD. It is amazing how well Play Therapy works to resolve these issues!

In addition Joseph helps parents to develop their own unique parenting approach to resolve their children’s issues. The parent-child relationship is the most important element in any child’s life, and by simply tuning up that relationship, we can have a tremendously beneficial effect. Joseph has written over 120 fascinating and well-researched articles on parenting and Play Therapy, which can be found at Tribecaplaytherapy.com.

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : anxiety, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy gams, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys

December Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 3, 2018 
· No Comments

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. – Kay Redfield Jamison

Blog

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for the wonderful play therapy termination activity. Stumped on how to end play therapy with a client on a warm and optimistic note? Try creating a chain on intentions with your exiting clients and let them leave as lasting an impression on your therapy room as you have had on them! Each link is a added as a client leaves therapy and each has it’s own message of positive intention for live post therapy. As time goes on, the chain, and the optimism, grows! What a creative and fun way to provide closure for your client.  Read more here!

Articles

In Perry Klass, M.D.’s article, she explains how exposure therapy can be instrumental in helping children to overcome anxiety. All children can experience worry and fear, but when that fear interferes with the child’s functioning, or inhibits them from learning or growing,  It may be time to seek help from a professional. Dr. Stephen P.H Whiteside of the Mayo Clinic, believes that exposing a child to whatever is causing the anxiety in a controlled and supportive environment will help them to overcome their fear and learn to cope with new fears. Anxiety manifests itself differently in children, even physically. A child can suffer some headaches and stomach pains due to anxiety. Not every child requires intervention for their anxiety, read the full article to know the signs of anxiety disorders and when to get help here.

December is the season of giving, but for some, it becomes the season of buying- Toys. We’re all guilty of wanting to give the young ones in our lives the world, or at least all the toys in the world, but according to the University of Toledo, when it comes to toys for children, less is more. Toddlers and children who have few toys actually play with more focus and creativity, which causes them to develop their imagination earlier, which can help with problem solving later in life. So when play time rolls around, choose quality versus quantity. Read full article here.

Should you let your child believe in Santa? Research in the field of developmental psychology actually cites some benefits to not only letting your child believe in Santa, but encouraging them to question and provide answers to the magic surrounding Santa Clause and all his fantastical feats. When they do discover that Santa is but a beloved Christmas myth, studies have shown that it’s actually the parents who are more upset than the children, who tend to feel part of a savvy community of “knowers,” rather than feeling betrayed or lied to. Another tip: Just because the belief in Santa stops, doesn’t mean the caliber of gifts given has to. If the big presents come from the parents every year, then when your child stops believing in Santa, they wont worry about what that means for Christmas morning festivities. Read full article here.

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Categories : Anxiety, Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : anxiety, child development, child play therapy toys, child therapy, therapy toys

Play Therapy Termination Activity: The Chain of Intentions by Jennifer Taylor

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· December 21, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Termination of play therapy services can be difficult for the counselor and the child. The relationship formed during the months of therapy is one of the most important aspects of the process. Termination activities differ across settings:  some offices provide certificates and some simply said good bye.

Today, I will share a termination activity that has been quite popular in my office.

The truth is that it is also a goal setting activity. So, you can use it at the beginning and the end of therapy.

It started way back in January 2016….I like to call it the Chain of Intentions.

The Inspiration for This Termination Activity

The Chain of Intentions was inspired by a commercial that I watched about the My Intent Project.  According to their webpage,

We believe there is purpose inside each of us and we want our efforts to encourage people to share more truth and inspiration with each other. We are not a jewelry company – we are an intentions project-My Intent Project

Despite their claim not to be a jewelry company, they do in fact, make jewelry. The customer chooses a word of inspiration to have marked on a disc and uses that as inspiration or motivation in their daily life.

(Note…I have no affiliation with the My Intent project and have received no financial compensation from them…this is purely background).

So, I ordered one with my intention for my play therapy practice.

My word was FOCUS.

Focus on PLAY THERAPY.

See, I have a habit of saying yes to all opportunities. Those things were taking me away from my core mission which was to use play therapy to help children deal with trauma or other difficulties at home or in school.

I needed to FOCUS.

But, because I could not buy a necklace as a termination gift for each or my clients, I came up with a way to create a chain of intentions with all of the (willing) clients and students that came to my office.

Chain of Intention Instructions:

  1. I started by tying a very long piece of yarn to the air ducts in my office to form a string that went from one end of my office to the other. You could do this by tying it to a nail or a hook of any kind.
  2. Cut out strips of construction paper by folding in half vertically and then folding in half again. You will get 4 strips for each standard sheet.
  3. Using a marker, I wrote my word FOCUS and made the first circle around the piece of yarn. It was very sad and lonely all by itself. 
  4. As children noticed it and started to ask about it, I told them the story about the necklace that I just told you.   Now..even though I said this was a termination activity, it can also be a treatment goal activity.
  5. If a child wanted to create an intention as a treatment plan goal, I allowed them to make a strip with a word about what they wanted to achieve during their therapy visits. Children choose things like listen, happy, create, design, friends.   Make sure that the intention is positive. So no chains that say “Stop, no, don’t.”
  6. I had the child stand on a chair and link their strip onto mine (or the last one up) and then staple it themselves so that their word of intention was visible.
  7. At the end of therapy, the child would either create another strip (or do one for the first time if they were not interested in doing a goal strip) that said what they learned during the therapy. Or sometimes, it was a benefit or just something they wanted to continue working on. Their INTENTION after our services ended. Some wrote happy, friends, joy, connection, success. Again, I had the child write the word, put it up and staple it themselves.
  8. If children were too young to spell, they tried their best. Or they drew a picture. Sometimes, I wrote the word down and they copied it.

 

 

Thoughts on Termination

The end result was a way for them to leave something behind. A testament to the power of therapy and the work that was accomplished. A motivation for other children that success was possible. And a vision for their future about what could help guide them after therapy was over.

My goal was to get from one side of the room to the other. It took the entire year. My office is big! But as it grew, it became a fixture in the office and I am excited to take it down and start again. And a little sad to see it go. I am thinking that I can use it as a garland for my office Christmas tree. A symbolic way to honor the work of the year and transition into the intentions for the new one.

***

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for an other great reader submission! Check out more from Jennifer at jentaylorplaytherapy.com

Have a post you would like to feature on our page? Let us know!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : Play Therapy, sand play, sand play therapy, sand therapy, sand tray therapy, sandplay therapy, sandtray therapy, termination of play therapy, termination of therapy, therapy tools

Cooperative & Noncompetitive Games

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· October 19, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Cooperative and non-competitive games are ideal for children and families, and are often used by therapists, counselors, and teachers. In a non-competitive game there are no winners or losers, usually information is exchanged.  Probably the most popular non-competitive game used by clinicians is the Ungame. Another non-competitive game, this one developed for therapy, is The Nurturing Game.

                                   

Cooperative games usually have a specific goal that needs to be accomplished, and can only be accomplished when players are working together. Another way of looking at cooperative games is that all players win, or all players lose.  They can be used with children who can’t tolerate losing, have cooperation difficulties, or need to work on their communication skills.  A popular cooperative game used by therapists is The Mountaineering Game. The goal of this game is to reach the top of the mountain. If greater difficulty and complexity is desired players can work together to first ascend the mountain, and then descend the mountain.

The value of cooperative games was demonstrated in a study by Bay-Hintz and Wilson (Bay-Hintz, April K. and Wilson, Ginger B. ,2005. “A Cooperative Games Intervention for Aggressive Preschool Children.”  In Reddy, Linda A., Files-Hall, Tara M, and Schaefer, Charles E. (Eds.) Empirically Based Play Interventions for Children). They studied the use of cooperative games in a preschool class. Cooperative games were played for thirty-minutes per day in one group, and competitive games were played in the other. Two other groups played cooperative games for part of the study, and competitive games for part of the study.  In all conditions where cooperative games were introduced cooperative behavior during free play increased. Cooperative behavior decreased during periods where competitive games were played.  The games used in this study included group games like cooperative musical chairs and Family Pastimes board games (see below).

Both cooperative and non-competitive games facilitate therapy by becoming the place where therapist and client interact with each other. Non-competitive games typically involve more discussion and disclosure, while cooperative games require social skills and effective communication to achieve success.

The Ungame: Non-competitive games, such as The Ungame, are designed specifically to foster communication. It is available as a board game, and as a separate card games for Kids, Teens, and Families.  The Ungame is ideal for a therapy session as the length of play can be predetermined at the start of the game. So, if there are only fifteen minutes left in the session the game can still be played and the session can still be quite productive.  In addition, playing the Ungame fosters skills such as sharing, interacting, and listening.

The Ungame board game includes two levels of “general cards,” a board, pawns, and a die. Level one cards tend to be light-hearted and non-threatening, and Level two cards tend to require more thought and self-revelation. Level 2 cards ask questions about feelings, values, and memories.  The Ungame card games also consist of level one and level two cards and may be used with the board game. Simply substitute the general cards that come with the game with one of the card decks. The card game includes Choice, Question and Comment cards, which are also spaces on the board game, so these cards should be removed when using them with the board game.

The Ungame is easy to play. Players take turns rolling the die, count spaces and then respond to the prompt on the space they land on. If they land on an Ungame space, they pick up a card, read it aloud, and respond. If they land on a Question space they may ask any player any question they like. If they land on a Comment space, they may make a comment about anything they like. As a therapist, I usually use the Question space to seek clarification about an earlier response or find out something about the child. Choice spaces allow the player to make a comment, ask a question, or pick up an Ungame card. Level 1 cards are typically non-threatening and ideal for building cohesion in a group and rapport between the players.  They facilitate discussion and learning how to express oneself. Level 2 cards tend to evoke more emotional and in-depth responses and are better used once clients have begun to feel comfortable.

Ungame Variations

Getting to Know You – Hide & Seek with Ungame cards – The therapist chooses which deck is going to be played with, and hands a portion of the deck to the child. Better readers can be given more cards, weak or young readers, only a few cards. The therapist may choose to stack the deck prior to the session. The therapist chooses three cards he’d like the child to answer and the child chooses 3 cards they would like the therapist to answer. The child hides her cards first, then the therapist hides his cards. Child and therapist then take turns looking for the cards. When a card is located it is responded to.

Getting to Know You – Rock, Paper, Scissors, with or without Ungame cards – Follow the same procedure as above, but instead of choosing 3 cards, go through your stack and identify a few questions you’d like to ask. Next, play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Whoever wins the round, gets to pose the question. This game can also be played without cards. Participants simply ask whatever question they want of the other participant.

The Squiggle Game is a cooperative activity and was developed by D. W. Winnicott.  Winnicott was a pediatrician and a child analyst.  He developed to the Squiggle Game to be played in the initial interview with a child.  He developed this activity as a way for the therapist to make contact with the child.  He did not develop any fixed rules, as he wanted clinicians to feel free to adapt it to their style and enhance it a way that worked best for them. Clinician and child take turns making a squiggle, and then turning it into a picture of something. Child and counselor are free to complete as many, or as few, as they choose. Many variations of the Squiggle game have been developed over the years (as a Google search will reveal). One interesting discussion can be find in the following online article:

www.focusing.org/chfc/articles/en/thurow-interaction-squiggle-total.htm

The Nurturing Game is another non-competitive game that not only fosters communication but also promotes activities that encourage nurturing behavior.  The Nurturing Game is suitable for adults and children ages 6 and older to increase self-awareness, communication skills, and appropriate use of personal power. Participants respond to questions regarding awareness of self, feelings, giving and receiving praise, as well as practicing appropriate touch. Each Nurturing Game contains cards and directions that are published both in English and Spanish. There are two “tracks” on the game, one for adults and one for children. In addition to responding to cards there are Praise (Sun) spaces and Hug (Heart) spaces. I recommend that male therapists use the heart spaces to give a high five, fist bump, or “say something positive” about one of the other players.

More cooperative games

Mountaineering, There’s a Growly in the Garden, & Bambino Dino: These three cooperative games are published by Family Pastimes.  Family Pastime games have a specific goal that is achieved when participants play together, not against each other.

The most popular Family Pastimes game purchased by therapists is The Mountaineering Game.  Participants work together to reach the top of the mountain. For an added challenge, game participants can also try to work their way back to the base of the mountain.  The rules of the game compel the players to talk and work together. There is only one pawn which players take turns moving. There are two types of cards, mover cards and equipment cards. At the beginning of the game players must decide how to distribute the cards.  Neither player has enough mover cards nor equipment cards to get the pawn to the top of the mountain.  Since players take turns moving the pawn, each move affects what the other players can do.  As the pawn travels up the mountain it can become stuck and players must work together to move the pawn off various obstacles. This is a fun game to play with siblings and gives the therapist an opportunity to witness how they work together. Cooperation games can also be sent home for family members to play together during the week.

Two very popular games for children ages 4 to 7 (and older depending on the child’s emotional maturity) are Bambino Dino and There’s a Growly in the Garden. In the first game, Bambino wanders into a valley to get food, just as water begins to rush in. Participants work together to save Bambino from the rushing water. Players take turns rolling the dice. The color on the top of the dice determine if the player will get a barrel to remove water, food for Bambino, or more water will be added to the valley. It helps if players work together, discussing which cards to use and when to remove water.  Players may also share barrels to remove the water.

                                                                  

In There’s a Growly in the Garden participants work together to plant flowers, and then prevent the Growlys from pulling them up! The game starts with an empty garden. Players take turns adding Flowers, Scarecrows to block the Growlys, or Special Things that also block the Growlys.  Players need to watch out for Growlys, who turn up randomly, and pull up flowers if they’re not blocked by a Scarecrow or Special Thing.

Family Pastime publishes numerous games, these are just three examples. In addition, there are dozens of fun activities and games available from ChildTherapyToys.com. When using these games, it is advised that the therapist become thoroughly familiar with the rules and how to play before bringing it into the play room. The games are not complex but the rules are nearly impossible to figure out on the fly.

 

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Categories : Behavior, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy Games, Self-Esteem, Social and Emotional Competence, Therapy Practices
Tags : cooperative games, Play Therapy, play therapy gams, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens

September Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 27, 2017 
· No Comments
“The activities that are the easiest, cheapest, and most fun to do – such as singing, playing games, reading, storytelling, and just talking and listening – are also the best for child development.” – Jerome Singer (professor, Yale University)

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Wondering what the essential toys for a playroom are? We can help with that! In Jennifer Taylor’s post about playroom essentials, she highlights all of the staple items needed for a complete playroom. From sand tray miniatures to play therapy games, Taylor shows you what you could be missing and why it’s important to include these items in your playroom experience. View her list and links to the perfect playroom here!

Articles

We all want to praise children when they succeed, but according to new international research, how you praise your child could either motivate them to work hard, or motivate them to cheat. According to the study, published in Psychological Science, praising a child for simply being smart could actually cause them to feel pressure to perform up to high expectations, which may cause them to cheat, whereas complimenting a child’s effort will motivate them to work hard, and perform at their full potential. Read the full article here!

“The resilience of an individual depends on drawing resources from many other systems,” said University of Minnesota psychologist Ann S. Masten, PhD, who has studied the subject of child resiliency for 40 years. According to Masten, fostering resiliency in children is accomplished not only by the child’s innate ability to cope and problem-solve, but also by the relationships and support they receive outside of themselves. This article outlines all of the important factors that help a developing child boost resilience, and why you should care. Read the full article here!

Every parent contends with stress. Work stress, family stress, financial stress. It’s important not to let that stress trickle down to your children, says Katie Hurley. In this article she outlines different types of stress, how to identify your triggers, and most importantly, how to practice letting go of those things that are eating you up. When we feel stress, our children see and experience that stress with us, so it’s important to demonstrate coping skills to alleviate those tensions.  Read the full article here!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy books, Play Therapy Games, Play Therapy Toys, Reader Submissions, Social Issues, Wrap Up
Tags : child therapy toys, childhood stress, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy toys, sand tray miniatures, sand tray therapy, stress, teens, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games, therapy toys

What are the “Must Have” Toys for a New Play Therapist? By Jennifer Taylor

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 11, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Questions about “must have” toys get asked so many times by clinicians new to the field of play therapy.  And, the answers can vary widely.  I’ve given parents some of my favorite toys in the past.

Dr. Landreth’s “Must Have” Toy Categories:

The foundation for play therapy training for a lot of clinicians is Dr. Garry Landreth and Child Centered Play Therapy.  He advises that play therapists include several toys from each of three categories.  Note that this list does not include everything that would fit into each category (they are just examples) and also that you do need everything on any list

Real Life

  • Play kitchens and play food
  • Doctor kits and band-aids
  • Dolls and Dollhouses
  • Animals, Cars, Trucks, People
  • Cash Register and Play Money

Expressive/Creative

  • Art supplies
  • Paint
  • Play-doh
  • Dress Up
  • Puppets and Puppet Theater

Aggressive/Emotional Release

  • Toy guns 
  • Foam swords
  • Rubber knives
  • Rope
  • Soldiers
  • Aggressive puppets or figures (sharks, dinosaur, alligator, etc)

Directive Play Therapists “Must Have” Toys

When doing  more structured or directive play therapy interventions, you usually need things like:

  • Books
  • Therapeutic games
  • Traditional board games
  • UNO cards
  • Playing cards
  • Cooperative Board Games

“Must Have” Elements of a Play Therapy Space

It can be quite easy to find excellent toys everywhere you go.  And Dr. Garry Landreth reminds us all to beware of the urge to get everything.  He says in his book, The Art of the Relationship, “Toys should be selected, not collected.”  

And I created this infographic to summarize my thoughts on creating the perfect play therapy space that you might find helpful.

Reframing The Question

But, I just recently heard it explained in a wonderful way by a colleague, Dr. Jessica Stone, who responded to this very question during a discussion board about the Play Therapy Summit.   She gave me permission to share it with you:

Hi all, I like to take an approach of collecting gems along my way in this field. I am not sure I could identify the one thing my office couldn’t live without. It is complex. Is that my personal favorite thing? Or my client’s? Or the majority of my clients? What comprises a favorite thing?

I believe what we have in our offices needs to be a balance of 1) what is congruent with who we are, what we believe, what our theoretical foundation is, what our space allows comfortably, etc. and 2) what speaks our client’s language, what helps our clients speak, what speaks to our clients, what allows them to experience feeling heard, seen, important, and understood.

I like to take a gem from Maria Montessori and think of the tools in my office as a way of scaffolding within the office. There are items that fit where they are in this moment, items that help them move forward, and items that work when they need to regress a bit.

Sometimes these tools aren’t our preferred or favorite. Sometimes they are. As I look around my office in response to your question I think about the clients who use the majority of the tools in my office on any given day but I also think about that one client, the one who found the tool that meant the most to them and they used it in the most amazing way – whatever that meant for them – Jessica Stone, Ph.D., RPT-S”

As I was packing up my office to move out of the state this week, I found Dr Stone’s words especially helpful.  I usually play loud music when doing tasks like this, but this time, I held each of the toys and remembered the children that used them and how they used them.  It was a mix of joy and sadness as I reflected on all of those shared moments in this specific playroom.

Final Thoughts:

In the end, I would recommend selecting a few items from each of Dr. Garry Landreth’s categories and then considering Dr. Stone’s advice about seeing the value of all the different toys in the playroom. But, know that whatever you have is enough.  As long as you are in the room,  focusing on the relationship with the child and responding in an authentic manner

 

**The post What are the “Must Have” Toys for a New Play Therapist? appeared first on Jennifer Taylor Play Therapy.

 

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Categories : ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Art Therapy, Behavior, Books, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Depression, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Play Therapy books, Play Therapy Toys, Reader Submissions, Sandplay/Sand Tray Therapy, Social Issues

August Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 1, 2017 
· No Comments

“Men should learn to live with the same seriousness with which children play.” – Nietzsche (philosopher, writer)

Blog

Netflix has released an original show about teen suicide.  13 Reasons Why is about a teen girl who commits suicide and how she choose to share her decision with her peers and family. The show has been praised and criticized for it’s portrayal and highlighting of the tragic issue of teen suicide. If you have a child/teen who has seen, is watching, or is interested in watching the show, Jennifer Taylor has some tips on how to put the fictional show in perspective and discuss with them the key points of the story. Read Jennifer’s full article here!

Articles

Racial tensions in America are high as opposing movements are vying to be heard. It is so important to discuss these matters with your children so they understand what racism is, and how to cope with it. According to Erlanger Turner, Ph.D., children often model adult behaviors, so it is also important to understand your own feelings on the issue of racism, and present ways to cope with disappointment or anger.  Read the full article here!

Adults are no strangers to stress. we face stressors and challenges everyday, and hopefully, we know how to cope and combat that stress. Children also experience stress, but it may manifest itself in as a physical affliction rather than emotional distress. Stress in children is often misinterpreted as illness or bad behavior.  The Psychology Foundation of Canada has some tips and signs to help you identify when a child is stressed. Read the full article here!

As with any publicized violent or traumatic events, it is important to discuss with your children what it means and why it happened. The events in Charlottsville, VA. have sparked many concerns and discussions. LA Times reporter Sonali Kohli discusses tips from professionals about how to broach these difficult topics with your children, and why it is important to do so.  Read full article here!

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Categories : Anxiety, Depression, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Social Issues, Trauma and Grief, Wrap Up

July Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 4, 2017 
· No Comments

“Play is the highest form of research.”

– Albert Einstein

Blog

Donna Hammontree had some great reasons for keeping those creepy play therapy dolls in your playroom. Even though they may not be the playroom favorites, they can often be implemented by a child to portray someone or something related to fear, anger, anxiety, and even guilt. “They may hide the dolls, lock them up with my play chain, or throw them away in a pretend garbage can.  Sometimes they add guards around the dolls to provide extra security.  Or, we may dress up as a superhero and find the dolls together.  This frequently leads to better coping at home,” said Hammontree of her practice with the dolls. Read the full post here!

Articles

It’s back to school time and that means back to school stress. Each new grade comes with new challenges- and new fears. The best way to curb back to school anxiety is to talk to yours kids and make sure they know that just because they feel nervous about something doesn’t make it bad or scary. Its OK to feel that way about things. Dinner conversations and unstructured play time are the best ways to debrief and find relief from the stressors of new school experiences. Read full article here!

Childhood stress is on the rise according to Julia Grochowski. Stress in children does not manifest itself in the same ways as adults. When a child doesn’t have the language to express what they are feeling they may say that they feel badly physically. They may have a tummy or head ache. The best way to differentiate between a tress induced ache and a physical ache is to pay close attention to when the child is experiencing it. If it is consistently occurring during a time of possible stress (school, tests, homework, etc.) There is a good chance that the child is not being difficult or sick, but that they are stressed. Read full article here!

Teen years are some of the hardest to navigate for parent and child. Dr. Sheryl Ziegler says the best way to close the gap between you and your teen is with more listening and less criticism. Parents who have teens who are active on social media should also be familiar with the social media platforms. Focus on common experiences. Read the full article here!

 

 

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Reader Submissions, Wrap Up
Tags : childhood stress, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys, sand tray therapy, stress, teens

Using Creepy Dolls in the Playroom by Donna M Hammontree, LCSW, RPT-S

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· July 19, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Freddie Krueger.  Chuckie.  Jason.

Parents and children alike ask me, “Why do you have those in here?”  

I respond, “Why do you think I have those in here?”

Gary Yorke, PhD, recommended 1 or more of the play therapy dolls as good resources for the playroom.  I was skeptical but bought 3.  Deciding to assess the use of them for myself, I have determined there are multiple uses for the creepy therapy toys.

To communicate anger

A child may use the doll to let a therapist/school counselor/teacher/parent know he is angry with the adult for any reason by shaking the doll at the adult.

The creepy doll may be thrown across the room or beaten up to express anger at any bad experiences or people.

 

To communicate that a person has scared the child

A child who has been traumatized may ventilate that fear by using 1 or more of the dolls.  Sometimes that fear may come from watching scary movies; in that case, I guide care takers in being more selective in visual experiences.

To express identification with, ventilate about, or gain control over one’s own creepiness

Children on the Autism Spectrum or with physical differences may use the dolls to process how they are treated by peers on the school playground.

To express identification with the oppositional and defiant nature of the dolls

A child who presents with defiance, for whatever reason, may identify with the dolls and act out that oppositional stance.

To gain control of one’s anxieties and unrealistic fears

Some children ask me to hide the dolls as they are afraid of the dolls.  I may do so in a very early session but soon have the child take responsibility for the fear and find a way to cope with the creepy dolls themselves.  They may hide the dolls, lock them up with my play chain, or throw them away in a pretend garbage can.  Sometimes they add guards around the dolls to provide extra security.  Or, we may dress up as a superhero and find the dolls together.  This frequently leads to better coping at home.

To communicate low self-esteem, worthlessness, guilt

Play using the dolls may involve being bad and in trouble.  I work to validate the feelings in the play and then acknowledge the creepy doll’s life experiences, such as mistreated, hurt, surviving difficult times, trying to protect himself.

To express whatever the child needs to vent about

Children will use the dolls or avoid them to communicate thoughts and feelings about situations that I may never fully understand.  Being client-centered and open to their experiences is the key.

 

The professional benefits from an individual and family assessment of the client and knowledge of the child’s experience to fully understand and best respond to the child’s play.  On the other hand, being in the moment with the child and aware of the therapists’ own emotional responses to the client is often enough to further assess, validate, encourage an adaptive response by the child.

“Why do you have those in here?”

Therapist’s response, “Please tell me!”

***

 

Donna is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist/Supervisor in private practice, in Savannah, GA. Visit her website: http://www.donnahammontree.com/

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Categories : Anger, Anxiety, Autism, Behavior, Bullying, Child Development, Communication, Feelings
Tags : child play therapy toys, child therapy toys, play therapy dolls, play therapy toys, therapy toys

Counseling Games I’m Enjoying this Week by Dr. Gary Yorke

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 26, 2017 
· No Comments

My playroom shelves are packed full of therapy games. I mean, really packed. I have well over a hundred therapy and counseling games on my shelves. As the president of the largest US publisher of therapeutic and counseling games, I have a lot more options than most child clinicians when it comes to acquiring games and selecting the ones I want to use in my sessions. Most of the time I try to be prescriptive. That is, I select games and activities most appropriate to the client I’m meeting with. Despite taking this approach I find myself gravitating to some games much more than others. Below are some of the games that I’m getting the most out of right now, and would recommend to my fellow clinicians for their play therapy practices.

 

Yes I Can! Handle My Anger – I’m a little biased, since I developed this activity. The Yes I Can! Handle My Anger game is designed to help participants understand and appreciate various aspects of being angry. There are three types of cards designed to help participants identify triggers for anger, identify positive and negative behaviors associated with anger, and identify thoughts associated with anger. Developing anger management skills is aided by discussion and role playing during the game. Participants use the cards to spell out “Yes I Can!” as they play, which keeps them interested and engaged.

 

Bridge Over Worried Waters – Anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health problems during childhood and adolescence. Anxiety affects normal day-to-day activities and causes considerable emotional and physical distress as well as impaired academic and social functioning. Bridge Over Worried Waters is designed to support treatment of anxiety disorders in children ages 6-13 years old. The game incorporates relaxation, positive self-talk, and other coping behaviors into a game format. I like this game because it teaches concrete skills as well as providing lots of opportunities for discussion and exploration.

 

The Social & Emotional Competence Board Game –  The Social and Emotional Competence Board Game was designed to give counselors and teachers another tool to teach social and emotional skills. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain relationships with others. The Social and Emotional Competence Game is a fun way to teach empathy, communication skills, self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, self-management, and responsible decision-making. Of course, I’m biased about this game since I developed it as well. It has turned out to be one of our best-selling games and I’ve received a lot of positive feedback.

The Social & Emotional Competence Card Game (ADHD cards) –  The Social and Emotional Competence Game Card Set (Revised) can be used with the Social and Emotional Competence Board Game or as a stand alone card game. I use it both ways. The goal is to educate players about a specific disorder and provide skills for managing the disorder. There are five decks of cards, one for each disorder: Anxiety, Depression ADHD, Asperger’s, and Bipolar Disorder. When playing the board game, any of the five decks can be substituted for the Communication cards. The cards are used to facilitate an appreciation and understanding of the child’s difficulties, and develop strategies for managing and coping with their challenges. I have been using the ADHD and Anxiety cards, without the board, a lot lately. There are no time constraints and the game can be played for 5 minutes or 15. The game is over whenever time runs out.

 

Dr. Playwell’s Don’t Stress Game –  Stress is a factor that contributes to almost every mental health problem. Stress can affect a child’s physical health, too. This is an engaging game helps children develop some of the skills they need to deal with all kinds of stress, including both developmental and situational problems. I’ve found that this game engages kids well.

 

Boundaries Baseball – Boundaries Baseball helps children understand and respect boundaries. Boundaries are essential for positive relationships with peers and adults; children who act out are often asking for the security of clear boundaries and the skills needed to respect them. Boundaries Baseball utilizes a baseball diamond format as a visual reminder for not going out of bounds. As part of the action of the play, participants will also have opportunities to toss a ball so that it stays within the boundaries of a strike zone. Game cards teach four kinds of boundaries: (1) Saying and accepting No, (2) Managing strong emotions, (3) Respecting personal space and property, and (4) Relationship/communication limits (friendship). This is another very engaging game.

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Categories : Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Games
Tags : child play therapy toys, Play Therapy, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games
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