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Archive for Parenting – Page 2

Every Kid With ADHD Needs Captain Underpants by Cristina Margolis

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· November 10, 2017 
· 1 Comment

“Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Delightfulness is how I prefer it.  Everyone else calls it a disorder,” says Dav Pilkey, the popular children’s author of the Captain Underpants series.  When Pilkey was in second grade, he was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and Dyslexia.  Like many children with ADHD, Pilkey had a difficult time focusing, staying still, and “behaving properly” in class.  He was constantly criticized by his teachers and he often felt like an outsider in the classroom.

In second grade, Pilkey began creating Captain Underpants comic books, which his classmates absolutely loved.  He had a natural talent for making kids laugh and he loved it.  His teacher however, was not fond of Pilkey’s cartooning at all.  One time, she even ripped up one of Pilkey’s Captain Underpants drawings in front of the entire class, told Pilkey that his comic books would never amount to anything, and sent Pilkey out into the hallway.  What do you think young Pilkey did then?  Well, he did what any other determined and hyperfocused ADHDer would do: He immediately began creating another Captain Underpants comic book!

During Pilkey’s childhood, his parents were very supportive of his passion for cartooning and they never listened to the negative critiquing of his teachers about his ADHD.  His parents embraced his ADHD and helped Pilkey see his ADHD as a remarkable gift.  When Pilkey got to college, one of his professors noticed his gift as well and encouraged him to become a children’s book author.  Pilkey then wrote several children’s books and at 31 years old, got Captain Underpants published.  Pilkey is a classic example of what having supportive and loving family and teachers can do for a person with ADHD.  Twenty years after Captain Underpants was first published, the series is still a huge hit with kids, mine included.

 

 

My ADHDer reading her first Captain Underpants book

 

Let me tell you a bit about my own ADHDer.  She is eight years old and before she read her first Captain Underpants book, she hated reading.  Getting her to read her assigned book for school was like pulling teeth.  She complained that reading was boring and a waste of time.  When she got to a big word that was difficult to pronounce, she’d become frustrated and would start crying.  She would also lose her place a lot and would reread paragraphs.  She was also not very good at comprehending what she had read, because even though she was reading the words, she wasn’t really paying attention to the words.

Then one day, Captain Underpants entered her life and Tra-Laa-Laaa, my ADHDer loved reading!  While we were at the library, she asked if she could check out a Captain Underpants book and I said “Yes” of course.  As soon as we got home, she plopped herself on the couch and began reading.  Then she’d lay upside down on the couch and keep reading.  Then, she’d kneel down on the floor and use the couch as a table and keep reading.  Needless to say, she devoured that book.  While she was reading, she was smiling and laughing.  She was really enjoying herself and I have never ever seen her love reading so much.  I have Dav Pilkey and his ADHDmazing imagination to thank for that.  He absolutely has a talent for getting kids, particularly kids with ADHD, to love reading!  The layout of his books are great for kids like mine too.  The words are not overwhelming, the chapters are short, and there is a picture on practically every single page.  There are even mini-breaks from reading the kids take without even realizing it with Pilkey’s Flip-O-Rama feature throughout the book.

Now I know the Captain Underpants series is known for its potty humor, which is one of the main reasons why children love the stories so much, but as a parent of an ADHDer, what I love the most about the series are the relatable characters for my ADHDer and the hidden (perhaps not-so-hidden) messages that kids with ADHD pick up on.

Captain Underpants And The Perilous Plot Of Professor Poopypants, by Dav Pilkey

The main characters in Captain Underpants are two little boys named George and Harold.  They are best friends who are both fun, creative, mischievous, and smart… oh, and they both have ADHD.  Pilkey makes it no secret that the boys have ADHD and explains what it is like for children with ADHD.  “George and Harold weren’t really bad kids. They were actually very bright, good-natured boys. Their only problem is that they were bored in school,” Pilkey writes in Captain Underpants And The Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants (Yes, that is the actual title of the book).

Pilkey also includes some hidden ADHD messages behind his stories.  Movie Spoiler Alert: In the new Captain Underpants film, Professor Poopypants hates anything that is funny, so he creates a machine that zaps the humor out of people’s minds so that people will no longer think anything is funny.  Professor Poopypants tries to zap the humor out of George’s and Harold’s brains, but it doesn’t work, because the humorous part of their brains are too big and powerful.  We know that the brains of people with ADHD are hardwired differently.  ADHD is a condition people are born with and it is not something people can simply grow out of.  Nobody can “zap” ADHD out of anyone and honestly, why would they want to?  ADHD is a big part of what makes children like George and Harold so fun and clever and ADHD is a big part of what makes Pilkey so imaginative and passionate.  If it weren’t for ADHD, Captain Underpants wouldn’t even exist!

Meeting Dav Pilkey was EPIC!

My family and I had the pleasure of meeting Dav Pilkey last month at his Supa-Epic Tour O’ Fun celebrating 20 epic years of Captain Underpants and the release of his latest Dog Man book.  It was such a huge honor to be able to hear Pilkey tell us about his ADHD and how he used it to his advantage.  He definitely gives ADHD a good name!  It is so important to have role models in our ADHDers’ lives that treat ADHD as a gift.  Pilkey is without a doubt, one of the very best role models for kids with ADHD today.  We are so happy we were able to tell Pilkey how much his books mean to us and how ADHDmazing we think he is.  It was definitely a moment I’ll never forget, because I could see in my daughter’s eyes that she was proud to be an ADHDer, just like Pilkey.  Just like Pilkey, she too is creative, intelligent, and remarkable and just like Pilkey, there is no doubt in my mind that she too will be going places.

 

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Did you love this post as much as we did? Get more from Cristina Margolis at MyLittleVillagers.com

 

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Categories : ADHD, Behavior, Books, Impulse Control, Parenting, Play Therapy books
Tags : adhd, adhd book, books for kids, child therapy, childrens books

September Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 27, 2017 
· No Comments
“The activities that are the easiest, cheapest, and most fun to do – such as singing, playing games, reading, storytelling, and just talking and listening – are also the best for child development.” – Jerome Singer (professor, Yale University)

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Wondering what the essential toys for a playroom are? We can help with that! In Jennifer Taylor’s post about playroom essentials, she highlights all of the staple items needed for a complete playroom. From sand tray miniatures to play therapy games, Taylor shows you what you could be missing and why it’s important to include these items in your playroom experience. View her list and links to the perfect playroom here!

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We all want to praise children when they succeed, but according to new international research, how you praise your child could either motivate them to work hard, or motivate them to cheat. According to the study, published in Psychological Science, praising a child for simply being smart could actually cause them to feel pressure to perform up to high expectations, which may cause them to cheat, whereas complimenting a child’s effort will motivate them to work hard, and perform at their full potential. Read the full article here!

“The resilience of an individual depends on drawing resources from many other systems,” said University of Minnesota psychologist Ann S. Masten, PhD, who has studied the subject of child resiliency for 40 years. According to Masten, fostering resiliency in children is accomplished not only by the child’s innate ability to cope and problem-solve, but also by the relationships and support they receive outside of themselves. This article outlines all of the important factors that help a developing child boost resilience, and why you should care. Read the full article here!

Every parent contends with stress. Work stress, family stress, financial stress. It’s important not to let that stress trickle down to your children, says Katie Hurley. In this article she outlines different types of stress, how to identify your triggers, and most importantly, how to practice letting go of those things that are eating you up. When we feel stress, our children see and experience that stress with us, so it’s important to demonstrate coping skills to alleviate those tensions.  Read the full article here!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy books, Play Therapy Games, Play Therapy Toys, Reader Submissions, Social Issues, Wrap Up
Tags : child therapy toys, childhood stress, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy toys, sand tray miniatures, sand tray therapy, stress, teens, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games, therapy toys

August Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 1, 2017 
· No Comments

“Men should learn to live with the same seriousness with which children play.” – Nietzsche (philosopher, writer)

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Netflix has released an original show about teen suicide.  13 Reasons Why is about a teen girl who commits suicide and how she choose to share her decision with her peers and family. The show has been praised and criticized for it’s portrayal and highlighting of the tragic issue of teen suicide. If you have a child/teen who has seen, is watching, or is interested in watching the show, Jennifer Taylor has some tips on how to put the fictional show in perspective and discuss with them the key points of the story. Read Jennifer’s full article here!

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Racial tensions in America are high as opposing movements are vying to be heard. It is so important to discuss these matters with your children so they understand what racism is, and how to cope with it. According to Erlanger Turner, Ph.D., children often model adult behaviors, so it is also important to understand your own feelings on the issue of racism, and present ways to cope with disappointment or anger.  Read the full article here!

Adults are no strangers to stress. we face stressors and challenges everyday, and hopefully, we know how to cope and combat that stress. Children also experience stress, but it may manifest itself in as a physical affliction rather than emotional distress. Stress in children is often misinterpreted as illness or bad behavior.  The Psychology Foundation of Canada has some tips and signs to help you identify when a child is stressed. Read the full article here!

As with any publicized violent or traumatic events, it is important to discuss with your children what it means and why it happened. The events in Charlottsville, VA. have sparked many concerns and discussions. LA Times reporter Sonali Kohli discusses tips from professionals about how to broach these difficult topics with your children, and why it is important to do so.  Read full article here!

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Categories : Anxiety, Depression, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Social Issues, Trauma and Grief, Wrap Up

July Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 4, 2017 
· No Comments

“Play is the highest form of research.”

– Albert Einstein

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Donna Hammontree had some great reasons for keeping those creepy play therapy dolls in your playroom. Even though they may not be the playroom favorites, they can often be implemented by a child to portray someone or something related to fear, anger, anxiety, and even guilt. “They may hide the dolls, lock them up with my play chain, or throw them away in a pretend garbage can.  Sometimes they add guards around the dolls to provide extra security.  Or, we may dress up as a superhero and find the dolls together.  This frequently leads to better coping at home,” said Hammontree of her practice with the dolls. Read the full post here!

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It’s back to school time and that means back to school stress. Each new grade comes with new challenges- and new fears. The best way to curb back to school anxiety is to talk to yours kids and make sure they know that just because they feel nervous about something doesn’t make it bad or scary. Its OK to feel that way about things. Dinner conversations and unstructured play time are the best ways to debrief and find relief from the stressors of new school experiences. Read full article here!

Childhood stress is on the rise according to Julia Grochowski. Stress in children does not manifest itself in the same ways as adults. When a child doesn’t have the language to express what they are feeling they may say that they feel badly physically. They may have a tummy or head ache. The best way to differentiate between a tress induced ache and a physical ache is to pay close attention to when the child is experiencing it. If it is consistently occurring during a time of possible stress (school, tests, homework, etc.) There is a good chance that the child is not being difficult or sick, but that they are stressed. Read full article here!

Teen years are some of the hardest to navigate for parent and child. Dr. Sheryl Ziegler says the best way to close the gap between you and your teen is with more listening and less criticism. Parents who have teens who are active on social media should also be familiar with the social media platforms. Focus on common experiences. Read the full article here!

 

 

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Reader Submissions, Wrap Up
Tags : childhood stress, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys, sand tray therapy, stress, teens

Aggressive Girls By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· March 15, 2017 
· 1 Comment

girls leaninggirl with hood2

 

Aggression or bullying can be defined as any action that inflicts physical or mental harm upon another person. Girls usually differ from boys in the type of aggressive behavior they exhibit. While boys tend to inflict bodily pain, girls most often, though not exclusively, engage in covert or relational aggression. Girls tend to value intimate relationships with girls, while boys usually form social bonds through group activities. Aggressive girls often gain power by withholding their friendship or by sabotaging the relationships of others.
Relational aggression is calculated manipulation to injure or to control another child’s ability to maintain rapport with peers. For example, a relational aggressive girl may insist that her friends ignore a particular child, exclude her from their group, form secret pacts to humiliate the child, call her names, and/or spread rumors about her.

Examples of manipulation include, “If you don’t play this game, I’ll tell Sara that you called her stupid,” or “You have to do what I say, or I won’t play with you.” Children in preschool have been observed excluding peers by saying, “Don’t let her play,” or using retaliation, “She was mean to me yesterday, so she can’t be our friend.” In older girls, the gossip can be more vicious, for example, “I saw her cheating.”

Though often subtle, nonverbal communication of an aggressive girl is unmistakable. For example, she may roll her eyes, glare, ignore, turn away, point, or pass notes to a friend concerning the rejected child.

In 1995, Crick and Grotpeter found that members of groups run by aggressive girls appeared to be caring and helpful toward each other. However, they also observed a higher level of intimacy and secret sharing in these groups. This closeness puts followers at risk because the aggressive child is privy to personal information that she can disclose. They also noted a higher level of exclusivity in groups run by relational aggressive girls. In other words, the followers usually have few other friends to turn to if they are rejected by the aggressive child, hence they continued to conform for fear of being isolated. They found a higher level of aggression within these groups.

Girls often feel pressured to be compliant and not show negative emotions. When they cannot assert their true feelings directly, resentment lingers and their anger manifests itself indirectly. Excessive relational aggressiveness can become a habit that can cause a lifetime of problematic relationships. Therefore, a girl who exhibits this behavior needs adult intervention and guidance. It should be stressed that these girls often have leadership ability, but they need assistance to channel it in a positive direction.

Relational aggression in girls has a negative affect on school climate and culture, as well as on the perpetrators and their victims. According to Crick, relational aggressive girls are disliked more than most children their age. They exhibited adjustment problems and reported higher levels of loneliness and depression. These girls often have difficulty creating and sustaining social and personal bonds. Ridiculed children have adjustment difficulties, as well. The rejection and hurt they feel can last a lifetime. They are more likely than peers to be submissive, have low grades, drop out of school, engage in delinquent behavior, experience depression, and entertain suicidal thoughts.

What can school personnel do to combat the negative impact of relational aggression on perpetrators and their targets?

    1. Increase awareness among school staff so that they understand what relational aggression is and discuss ways to combat it. Consequences for relentless covert aggression will vary depending on school discipline procedures, the action, and the age of the girls. Consequences could include a referral to a counseling group or losing privileges.
    2. Observe children in the classroom, at lunch, in the hall, on the playground, and before and after school, noting students’ nonverbal reactions to peers. Ask yourself:
      • Who is alone on the playground?
      • Who is a group leader?
      • How do her followers act toward others?
    3. Discuss relational aggression with your students to make sure they know that starting rumors, ridiculing others, and other forms of covert aggression are not acceptable.
    4. Reinforce student social interaction skills through the use of role-playing exercises, literature, writing assignments, and other means. Emphasize considering the feelings of others, developing listening skills, and exhibiting other character traits that are critical to forming lasting friendships.
    5. Help girls understand that conflicts are a natural occurrence in friendships and provide them with an opportunity to practice being supportive of one another. Encourage them to honestly resolve problems through open discussion and compromise.
    6. Believe the victim. Relational aggressive girls are skillful at concealing their bullying. Hence, many educators are blinded by the appearance of a model student who they feel would never engage in covert aggression.
    7. Understand that having at least one friend buffers a child from relationship aggression, so facilitating friendships between girls will help them cope with a relational aggressive child. Encourage girls to choose friends who are considerate and trustworthy, not exclusive or mean.
    8. Model respect and caring. Assist each girl in developing the belief that she is a capable person who has many strengths and who can stand up for herself by reinforcing these attitudes at every opportunity.
    9. Find assistance for the victim and perpetrator. Contact a parent and/or work with staff to foster their social and emotional development.

 

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leah daviesCheck out all of the Leah Davies‘ innovative and dynamic Kelly Bear materials on the Child Therapy Toys website!

Leah Davies received her Master’s Degree from the Department of Counseling and Counseling Psychology, Auburn University. She has been dedicated to the well-being of children for over 44 years as a certified teacher, counselor, prevention specialist, parent, and grandparent. Her professional experience includes teaching, counseling, consulting, instructing at Auburn University, and directing educational and prevention services at a mental health agency.

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Categories : Anger, Bullying, Conflict, Parenting, Reader Submissions, Social Issues

Bringing Your Child to Therapy: Tips for Parents

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· February 14, 2017 
· No Comments

safe

Liana Lowenstein, MSW, RSW, CPT-S, has offered up some great tips for therapy first-timers. Children often have questions about what to expect from their appointment, what the appointment means, and why they have to go. Lowenstein has some answers to ease their minds and make their first therapy appointment less intimidating. Read full article here!

 

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Categories : Article of the Month, Parenting, Play Therapy

January Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· February 2, 2017 
· No Comments

bubbles

 

“Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood, for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child’s soul”

– Friedrich Froebel (founder of the concept of kindergarten)

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Parenting a child with obsessive compulsive disorder can seem like an impossible task at times. Children with OCD can have a difficult time understanding why they have the impulses they experience and how to manage them. For parents, it can be hard to answer their questions and help them navigate the unknown. Natasha Daniels has shared some great tips on parenting children with OCD; how to help them understand the disorder, and actions to help manage it.

 

Cognitive Restructuring is an effective tool in play therapy. It is a combination of play therapy techniques including games, art, and bibliotherapy, paired with discussions about the child’s feelings throughout the process. Donna Hammontree explains how using cognitive restructuring helps children better understand their own thoughts and feelings, and shows them how those thoughts and feelings effect their actions.

 

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What is Play Therapy anyway? Play Therapy (PT) is a specialized practice defined by the Association for Play Therapy. This article helps define play therapy practice with information on the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, and why’s. “PT uses the child’s natural inclination to learn about themselves, relationships and his or her environment. Through PT, children learn to express feelings, modify their behavior and develop problem-solving, communication and social skills, ” says registered play therapist Adrianne Albarado Ortiz.

Brigham Young University is working to research autism with the goal to better the lives of the families that touched by the disorder. BYU uses a combination of disciplines to research autism from different angles including psychology, physiology and developmental biology, statistics, molecular biology, BYU’s Counseling Center and BYU’s MRI Research Facility. “The work is often painstakingly slow, ” says Cynthia Glad of BYU. “The sessions aren’t always successful, but when they work, the resulting images are very valuable. Findings are presented internationally and at the BYU Autism Translational Research Workshop.”

Counselors of Child Protective Services are undergoing a more rigorous psychological evaluation to ensure that they are fit to work and protect the children in the communities they serve. There is no higher priority than the safety of the children, many of whom have gone through traumatic events leading up to the intervention of CPS in their young lives. “The new testing regimen involves a more rigorous psychological test than that relied on in the past, as well as a face-to-face interview with a forensic psychologist,” says reporter Lauren Novak. “They will set a ‘high bar’ on traits such as empathy, maintaining appropriate boundaries with children, managing anger and stress and a proper understanding of the impact of abuse and neglect. The process also screens for indications of inappropriate sexual proclivities.”

Want your child to fess up? Try not showing anger. Sounds obvious, but it can sometimes prove easier said than done. But a new study shows that children are more likely to confess their misdeeds when they know their parents will show understanding and calm evaluation of the issue, rather than un-managed anger. “Convey that you’re going to listen without getting angry right away,” says researcher Craig Smith. “As a parent, you might not be happy with what your child did, but if you want to keep an open line of communication with your child you can try to show them that you’re happy that your child has told you about it.”

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Categories : Autism, Behavior, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy news, Resources, Social Issues, Wrap Up
Tags : development, feelings, Play Therapy, storytelling

5 TIPS ON HOW TO PARENT A CHILD WITH OCD by Natasha Daniels

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 26, 2017 
· No Comments

ocd

 

Watching your children suffer from irrational beliefs and partaking in bizarre rituals is heartbreaking. The parenting handbook left out the chapter on how to parent children with OCD. How are you supposed to react? How can you help them stop their compulsive behavior? Should you be stern? Should you ignore it?

 

Parenting a child with OCD is one of the hardest jobs a parent will ever have to face.

 

Here are five basic tips I have learned from working with children with OCD:

 

1) Educate you and your child on Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Repeatedly I sit on the opposite side of the couch talking to nervous and uncomfortable children. They whisper to me how they have silly beliefs. I offer them reassurance and they reluctantly tell me more. They sheepishly tell me how they must touch corners, or count in their head, or wash their hands every time they have a bad thought. They apologize for their bizarre thoughts and stare at me, waiting for me to officially declare them “crazy.”

 

No matter how often this happens it breaks my heart. I tell the children that I have heard this before. That they are not alone. That there is a name for this. That it is common. And that there is help. Their eyes open wide and they say, “there is?!” with palpable relief.

 

You can help your children by explaining to them what OCD is and how it affects their thinking. If you don’t understand OCD yourself, it is helpful to acquire this knowledge so you are better prepared to help your child. If you are unsure of the signs of OCD read OCD in Children: Are you Missing the Signs.

 

WhatToDoOCD_ded31f32-6486-4276-936b-2035c66a7782

There are some great books that help children understand OCD on a child-friendly level. Some parents shy away from using the word OCD, but I have found that children find great comfort in knowing that their issue has a name and that they are not alone. My favorite children’s book on OCD is What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck by Dawn Huebner. An informative book for parents is What to Do When Your Child Has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Aureen Wagner.

 

2) Give the OCD a name like Mr. Bossy

Often children don’t know how to talk about their OCD. They are embarrassed by their thoughts. They are dependent on their rituals. When you tell them to stop doing ritualistic behavior they may feel like you are attacking them – not their OCD. They sometimes feel angry. Why would you tell me to stop doing something that is keeping me “safe.”

 

Help your children externalize their OCD by giving it a name. You can call it Mr. Worry or Mr. Bossy. Some kids like to get creative and come up with their own names. I have had kids call it Mr. Germs or Mr. Numbers depending on their OCD theme.

 

One approach is to tell your child something like:

 

Mr. Bossy is a trickster and he likes to boss you around and make you feel worried. He wants you to avoid stuff and follow his silly rules. When you do what he wants he grows bigger. When he grows bigger he can bother you more. When you turn into Super (insert your child’s name here) – you can fight Mr. Bossy and beat him. When you ignore him, or argue about his silly rules, you shrink him and make him smaller – less powerful.

 

Books on OCD can help you reiterate this message or help you create one of your own if this approach doesn’t resonate with you or your child.

 

3) Do not get overzealous and point out all your child’s rituals

When your child has a problem you want to fix it as soon as you can. This can make parents overzealous with their efforts to beat their child’s OCD for them. Unfortunately, this is your child’s battle. You can offer your help and guidance, but you can’t fix this for your child. In fact, if you point out every ritualistic behavior you see – you may unintentionally cause your children to become more secretive about their OCD issues. Stopping ritualistic behavior does not happen overnight. Initial success may be as simple as them just recognizing it is an OCD thought or being able to briefly delay a ritual.

 

4) Don’t be part of their rituals

One area you do have control over is your participation in rituals. Some children involve their parents in their ritualistic behavior. If possible, you do not want to enable or participate in rituals. You can tell your child, “I am not helping Mr. Bossy boss you around. You can listen to him, but I won’t!” This might take some time to build up to if you’ve been participating in their rituals for a while.

 

5) Keep an eye out for new rituals so you can work together as a team

Children can get defensive about their rules and rituals and they may not want you to recognize any new rules or behaviors. Even though children do not want to have OCD, they are often slaves to the rituals that provide them with brief relief from their worrying. Therefore, it is important to keep an eye out for odd or irrational behavior.

 

Often when one type of OCD behavior has been eliminated – another rule or behavior replaces it. That is why it is important to give your children the skills to beat OCD and not just the specific behavior or rule they are currently doing. When you discover your children are doing a new ritual gently address this with them and let them know you are here to help them beat Mr. Bossy.

 

OCD can be a challenging issue! It can consume little minds and impede their social and emotional growth. The sooner children are given the skills to overcome their OCD the better the long-term prognosis will be. I encourage you to follow these tips, educate yourself by reading books on OCD and seek out professional guidance and support for you and your child as needed.

 

For more information and resources on OCD you can visit iocdf.org or take this quick 8 minute Video Lesson on how to parent a child with OCD here.

 

If you know a family struggling to parent a child with OCD, share this article with them.

 
Bio:

bio pic

Natasha Daniels is a child therapist and author of Anxiety Sucks! A Teen Survival Guide and How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler. She is the creator of AnxiousToddlers.com and the parenting E-Course How to Teach Your Kids to Crush Anxiety. Her work has been featured on various sites including Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and The Mighty. She can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest or making parenting videos for Curious.com.

 

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Impulse Control, Parenting, Reader Submissions

The Shiny Playground – Play Therapy for ADHD Kids by Cristina Margolis

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· December 9, 2016 
· No Comments

the-shiny-playground-play-therapy-for-adhd-kids

My seven year old child has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and if you think ADHD is simply not being able to focus or stay still, you are wrong.  So very, very wrong.  Children with ADHD can be impulsive, anxious, easily frustrated, and highly sensitive.  They can be socially awkward, have low self esteem, and be very defiant.  The list goes on and on and ADHD affects children differently.  While one child with ADHD may have a difficult time making and keeping friends, another child with ADHD can be the most popular kid at school.  Each child with ADHD is unique and so are their symptoms.  Even ADHD medication can affect children differently.  What works wonders for one child’s focusing could turn another child into an emotional wreck.  When it comes to treating ADHD, it’s a whole lot of trial and error unfortunately, but once you find something that works, it can be a Godsend for your child and your family.

My child’s behavioral therapist has taught her some wonderful coping mechanisms, like deep breathing and imagining she is in a forest when she is feeling overwhelmed.  At home, my child and I do role playing and act out situations that may arise in real life, so when they do happen, she will know what to say and do.

My child has taken role playing and her love for acting (She started Drama this year) and turned it into her very own play therapy as a way to cope with her ADHD.  She comes up with a situation that she has recently found herself in and has her toys and dolls act it out in a video.  She has covered topics such as becoming distracted in school and starting ADHD medication.  This is great therapy for her, because it helps her to really think about the situation and her feelings and it is all on her terms.  The best part of all is she is providing the therapy for herself through playing, which I think is absolutely amazing.  We decided to turn her videos into a series called The Shiny Playground on My Little Villagers’ YouTube channel.  She hopes her videos will help teach other young children with ADHD that they are not alone, as well as educate children without ADHD about what it is like for children with ADHD.  She is helping bring ADHD Awareness to the world and she is only seven years old!  Kids with ADHD are truly amazing!

She also hopes that The Shiny Playground videos will inspire other children with ADHD to do their own play therapy at home.  Not only is it a great way for children to work through their emotions and really think about what is going on in their lives, I am finding that it is teaching my child excellent life skills.  For example, she is learning great organization and planning skills.  She organizes the scenes, characters, and most important of all, the scripts.  She carefully plans what the story will be about, which is helping her learn to not be so impulsive and to be more patient.  She is also learning to control her behavior better.  On her very first episode of The Shiny Playground (Sam’s Classroom Trouble), she was very excited and practically screaming in the video.  After I explained to her that her screaming may hurt people’s ears, she has been making a conscious effort to keep her voice at a reasonable volume.  Parents of children with ADHD know how difficult it is for our children to pause and take note of their behavior and then alter it, so for my child to do this is truly remarkable to me.

If you have a young child, we hope you will show them The Shiny Playground series and encourage them to do play therapy at home.  If you or your child has an idea for The Shiny Playground, please leave a comment.  My child would love to hear your suggestion!  Thank you!

Thank you to Cristina Margolis for this truly inspiring post! To see more from Cristina on her website, click here!

 

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Categories : ADHD, Behavior, Child Development, Parenting, Reader Submissions

Grounding Kids For Having Anxiety by Cristina Margolis

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 27, 2016 
· 1 Comment

grounding-kids

 

First thing’s first. The title is very misleading, but it got you to click on the link, didn’t it?  🙂

All parents know what grounding is. It’s what they do with their children who misbehave. Currently, my three year old is grounded from the iPad for hitting her sister. However, parents of children with anxiety may practice a different type of grounding.

Grounding techniques are used for adults and children who exhibit anxiety. Anxiety can be terrifying and make you feel like you are not in control. It is almost as if you are having an out of body experience. During an anxiety attack, you may freeze up and go into a complete panic. Not only does anxiety affect you emotionally, it can affect you physically. Your body may sweat and shake, you may have trouble breathing, your heart rate may increase, your hands and feet may tingle, and you may feel dizzy and nauseous. It is downright frightening, especially for young children. Fortunately, there are anti-anxiety attack techniques called “grounding.” They are given that name, because they keep you “grounded.” Their purpose is to help you reorientate yourself and bring you back to reality.

Children with ADHD often feel overwhelmed at times, which can bring on strong feelings of anxiety. According to a study done at the National Resource Center on ADHD, up to 30% of children with ADHD have also been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My own daughter with ADHD has anxiety attacks every now and then. I have tried numerous techniques to help her get through her anxiety attacks (including having her look at a calm down jar and spend time in her calm down space at home), but the following technique (what I refer to as “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Blast off”) is great, because it can be used no matter where you are.

Grounding

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Blast Off” – How To Help A Child Having An Anxiety Attack: 

  1. I tell her to look around and find five things she can see. I have her count them using her fingers.
  2. I then tell her to find four things she can touch. Again, I have her count them using her fingers.
  3. I tell her to find three things she can hear. Again, I have her count them using her fingers.
  4. I tell her to find two thing she can smell. Again, I have her count them using her fingers.
  5. I tell her to find one thing she can taste.
  6. Blast Off! By the end of step 5, my daughter has “blasted off” her feelings of anxiety and is calm, cool, and collected. She is then able to talk with me about her problem and we come up with a solution together.

What are some other techniques you have used for your child or yourself to get through an anxiety attack?

 

* * * * *

Thanks to Christina Margolis for this awesome submission! Check out more from Christi at mylittlevillagers.com

 

 

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Feelings, Parenting, Reader Submissions
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