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Archive for Play Therapy

Identifying and Expressing Feelings

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 21, 2018 
· No Comments

Therapists and counselors are often concerned about a child’s emotional literacy. Emotionally literate children can manage their feelings and their reactions to those feelings. They can recognize and respond to other people’s feelings, which is a significant advantage in life. Many of our clients are not emotionally literate and our work with those children includes developing and enhancing the child’s ability to identify and express their feelings. Feelings are the most basic building blocks of social skills. Without the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others, children are not able to master social interactions. Children adept at identifying and expressing their feelings are likely to display increased empathy which is crucial for social competence, social relatedness, and pro-social behavior.  Children with deficits in their ability to identify and express their feelings may display excessive anger and frustration, and have more troubled interpersonal relationships with peers, teachers, and family members.

Since the development of The Talking, Feeling, and Doing board game in the 70’s, there have been hundreds of games developed to promote feeling identification and expression. Below is a brief survey of six of the most popular games currently on the market.

Feeling’s Detective is a matching game and is especially helpful with children who have difficulty picking up on social cues. It is suitable for children in grades 1-6. Feelings Detective helps children understand their own feelings as well as the feelings of others. It is especially helpful for children who tend to misread social cues, including those who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome or are at any other position on the Autism Spectrum. Specific examples help players link specific situations and thoughts with specific feelings.

The Emotions Mania Thumball is a great ice breaker for children, families, and groups.  Thumballs are a soft, stuffed ball that is safe for indoor use. Game play is simple. Simply throw, roll, pass or catch the thumball. Look under your thumb and react to the feeling word found there. Each panel has a different word. The Emotion Mania Thumball includes words such as happy, sad worried, curious, silly, proud and lonely. It is suitable for children, teens, and adults.

Go Fish: Fishing for Feelings teaches the skills needed to successfully deal with feelings, recognize feelings in others, and identify appropriate feelings. Players practice talking about their feelings in a non-threatening way. Players answer open-ended questions before receiving a requested card. Each question prompts a discussion about successfully dealing with feelings, recognizing other people’s feelings, or identifying appropriate feelings. The game plays like classic Go Fish. There are two decks of 50 cards in each game. One for children ages 5 to 8 years old, and the other for children ages 8 to 11 years old.

 

Emotional Bingo for Children (Spanish & English) is a great game for groups, class rooms, and individual sessions. In this bingo game players identify feelings rather than numbers on their Bingo cards. Emotional Bingo helps children learn to recognize various feelings and make empathetic responses. The game rules provide opportunities for children to discuss their own feelings and to respond with empathy to the feelings of others. The children’s version is suitable for children ages 6-12 and there is a version available for Teens.

 

The Yes I Can! Talk About Feelings cards are designed to facilitate conversation, insight, expressive skills, and increase an individual’s feeling word vocabulary. It is suitable for families, classrooms, counselors, & therapists and improves feeling identification and the expression of emotions. The Yes I Can Talk About Feelings game is great for enhancing self-awareness and the impact of one’s behavior. The instructions include several fun activities and suggestions for using the cards. This game is suitable for ages 5 and up, 2-6 players.

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Categories : Asperger's, Autism, Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Games
Tags : board games, child development, child therapy, counseling games, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy gams, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games, thumball

July Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 7, 2018 
· No Comments

Blog

This month produced a treasure trove of info and advice. Donna Hammontree outlined the differences between Rights, Responsibilities, Privileges, and Rewards. Knowing the difference between them is important to helping children and teens regulate their behavior. Donna cautions to be consistent when coaching your children/clients, and use positive reinforcement rather than negative. Read more here.

Articles

According to the University of Michigan, there is no correlation between pressuring you children to eat food they don’t want to eat, and positive results of any kind. Researchers say that picky eaters’ weight is unrelated to how hard their parents push them to eat “healthy” foods. likewise, their attitude towards those foods did not improved. You might just be fighting an uphill battle for no reason! Read full article here.

Living in the present has many advantages for children and adults alike. It can sometimes be easy to let worry and fear for what has been, or what could be, turn your day upside down. Rabbi Sam Frenkel’s mission is to use play therapy to help children overcome those worries by living in the present and focusing on today. Read full article here.

It can sometimes be hard to release the reins that keep a parent feeling in control of their children. But as a parent, your role is not to make your child’s decisions for them, but to teach them to make the right choices on their own. This can be exceptionally difficult because a parents first instinct will always be to ensure their child’s safety and happiness. Nancy Buck discusses how you can achieve that without being a helicopter parent. Read full article here.

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Categories : Anxiety, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Wrap Up
Tags : child development, childhood stress, counseling games, development, family roles, feelings, parenting, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy intervention

April Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· May 8, 2018 
· No Comments

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. -C.S. Lewis

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April was autism awareness month as well as child abuse prevention month. Our post this month showed the staggering statistics of child abuse, as well as highlighted methods to keep child therapists who work with abused children trained and emotionally healthy. Dr. Gary shared valuable resources for child therapists working with abused children. Read more here.

Articles

Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching the adults around them. That can seem stressful in and of itself, and you might find yourself saying, “Do as I say, not as I do!” But it’s OK for your children to learn their cues from you. You just have to be mindful of what you’re doing when you become emotional, i.e. angry, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, etc. This article outlines how to use your own body and feelings as teaching tools for healthy emotional coping. Read full article here.

Usually the feeling of guilt is an unpleasant one; a heavy one. In this new study,  researcher Amrisha Vaish, of the University of Virginia, finds that the beginning stages of guilt seem to develop around the age of three. Why is this significant? Vaish views the development of guilt as an opportunity for children to learn to make amends, and better foster social relationships. Read full article here.

There are too many factors to count that lead to a child growing into a productive adult with a “good” job. According to Jenny Anderson, letting children play more is a key factor. Playing leads to self discovery and problem solving and, “helping kids play more ‘will equip them to be relevant to the workplace and to society,’ said John Goodwin, CEO of the Lego Foundation and the former chief financial officer for The Lego Group.” Read full article here.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy news, Research and Case Studies, Resources, Trauma and Grief, Wrap Up
Tags : Child Abuse, child therapy, childhood stress, development, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· April 11, 2018 
· 1 Comment

As child clinicians we will become involved in many cases of abuse and neglect. A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds. 3.6 million reports of child abuse, covering 6.6 million children, are made annually. Four to five children die daily from abuse and neglect. At least 80% of abused and neglected children will meet criteria for one or more psychological disorders at age 21. Up to two-thirds of people in treatment for substance abuse report a history of neglect or abuse. Incarceration rates for men and women who have been abused are substantially higher than the general population.

Child therapists are in a unique position as we often become intimately involved with victims of neglect and abuse as providers, reporters of the abuse, and sometimes as expert witnesses. To be successful with this population, child therapists must have ongoing training and support. Anyone working with abused and neglected children should seek out some form of supervision. More experienced clinicians may choose a peer supervision group which can not only offer clinical guidance, but emotional support as well. Most of us are much more comfortable in our roles as clinicians than expert witnesses. However, being an expert witness doesn’t have to be intimidating and can be a very important opportunity to serve a client. Here is a great list of do’s and dont’s if called on to be an expert witness: 25 Tips for Expert Witnesses.

Self-care is essential for clinicians working with victims of abuse. Vicarious traumatization is a significant risk and can lead to burnout. “Therapist burnout” can be manifested as reduced compassion, a loss of caring and empathy, emotional exhaustion, and not feeling competent. The Society of Psychotherapy offers some excellent insights into recognizing burnout and strategies for self-care.

We recommend that anyone doing therapy with children become a member of The Association for Play Therapy (A4PT), and take advantage of the training opportunities at the national and state conferences. A4PT publications include Play Therapy Magazine and The International Journal of Play Therapy. Online resources are also available to members. Advanced training is available from TF-CBT, which offers a certification in Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. TF-CBT is listed as an evidence-based therapy on SAMHSA.GOV.

Of course, there is a treasure trove of resources available on the internet. A good place to start is the 2018 Prevention Resource Guide from the US Dept of Health and Human Services. Other helpful online resources include Prevent Child Abuse, ASPCC, and the Joyful Heart Foundation. ChildTherapyToys.com also offers a wide variety of resources to clinicians working with children and teens.

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Categories : Play Therapy, Resources, Sandplay/Sand Tray Therapy, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Trauma and Grief
Tags : Abuse, awareness, behavioral therapy, Child Abuse, Child Advocate, child therapy toys, expert witness, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, sand play therapy, Trauma

How Does Play Therapy Reduce Anxiety in Children? by Joseph Sacks, LCSW

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 24, 2018 
· No Comments

Is your child struggling with anxiety?

Is he or she visibly tense or nervous at different times during the day?

Does he put pressure on himself to get everything perfect, and is distressed when he makes mistakes or things don’t turn out just right?

Do your efforts to get her to relax only make things worse, making you feel powerless to help her?

Do you wonder about Play Therapy and anxiety regarding your child?

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Anxiety is one of the most common disorders in children, affecting over 10 percent of those under 18. Unfortunately, it can rob a child of the happiness that he or she needs so much.

The good news is that Child-Centered Play Therapy, together with Parenting Counseling, can do wonders to reduce and even resolve childhood anxiety!

I have seen it bring improvement with many children!

How does it work?

Often anxiety in children is generated by when a child, because of certain stressors in his or her life, develops feelings of shame and being in a state of low self-esteem. These feelings of low self-worth lead to anxiety in several ways. It may lead some children towards perfectionism, where the child feels badly about himself and tries to redeem himself from those feelings by creating self-imposed pressure to be very good, to have amazing performance or near-perfect output.

The underlying psychological mechanism is that the child reasons,

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“Feeling so badly about myself is intolerable and I feel helpless to remedy it. What can I actively do to fix it? I know, I will be such a good boy, I will work very hard to accomplish amazing things, and then I will be so accomplished that I will be so proud that I will automatically and necessarily feel great about myself! For sure I will no longer feel badly or ashamed.” Along these lines we find the genesis of perfectionism. The problem is that such a strategy can never work, because objective external accomplishments, no matter how great, cannot defuse the cause and fuel of his low self-esteem. So often even after accomplishing much, the child still feels badly, and then resolves to strive even further towards perfection. This can create great anxiety because after all, consistent, perfect performance is impossible, and the child will inevitably almost always fall short of his desired goals, creating great fear of failure.

To learn more about treating perfectionism in teens or older children, click here.

In addition his idealizing of perfect performance leads him to judge himself very harshly when he is imperfect,

generating much shame and anxiety over being stranded in a state of low self-esteem.

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Furthermore, such children may have unfortunately been criticized by people in their life, and they feel they must get everything perfect and achieve amazing things to get themselves beyond the reach of any potential criticism. This pressure generates anxiety.

To learn more about the pitfalls of criticizing children, click here.

Another common cause of anxiety is fear of reprimands and disapproval of the adults in a child’s life.

Children feel very small and powerless compared to adults and they cringe and wither under fear of reprimands, scolding, disapproval and criticism. Some children are constantly worried about not meriting enough approval and avoiding rebuke, and this generates significant anxiety. They feel pressure that they are not Ok they way they presently are, and they constantly have to measure up.

To learn more about the pitfalls of scolding and reprimands, click here.

Sometimes children learn to be anxious by example,

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important people in their lives display anxiety under stress and they learn to do the same, thinking, “They get anxious when such things happen, I guess I should be anxious too!”

Anxious children often engage in something called catastrophizing, where their fears spiral out of control, “Oh no, this is going to happen and then it is going to lead to that, and then that and everything is going to fall apart and be terrible!”

However in the Playroom all of this including perfectionism, low self-esteem, shame, fear of reprimands and disapproval, an anxious example and catastrophizing all get turned around!

How does Play Therapy for anxiety work?

In the Playroom, I don’t tell the child what to do, he or she completely makes all of his own decisions and I follow him, showing great respect and validation for all of his expressed feelings, desires, decisions and needs. This gives the child an exhilarating sense of control over his own life and destiny, leading him to think, “I don’t have to be anxious that things are not going to turn out well. I have the power to make things go the way I want and need, to make things go right!” In this way, his or her anxiety gets reduced right off the bat.

Furthermore, I demonstrate for the child in the Playroom and attitude of complete acceptance, validation and non-evaluation.

In other words, no matter what the child does, I don’t judge or evaluate him, I simply reflect back a pure acceptance of how he chooses to create his own experience. This leads the child to think, “The things I do are Ok, I’m fine just the way I am.”

This all is accomplished through the curious Play Therapy for anxiety technique called tracking,

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where, similar to a sportscaster describing a game, I reflect back to the child verbally every feeling or desire expressed, decision taken or accomplishment earned. For example, when a child picks up a toy to examine it, establish temporary ownership over it, and considers how he is going to play with it, this is important business for him in his world! Therefore I reflect back and enthusiastic , “Oh, now you’ve got that!” This direct, emotionally charged statement shows the child I am celebrating with him his great accomplishment of realizing and honoring his own desire, of controlling his own destiny, of putting into action his own plan to empower himself! This tracking is done constantly for every action, and the character of the verbal expression I make is personally tailored to suit perfectly each move and decision he makes. Over time it does wonders for building self-esteem, because the tracking gives him a criticism and evaluation-free opportunity to view himself in a positive light. By gaining a simple awareness of the uniqueness and special value of each individual aspect of his self as it develops in the playroom, the natural result is the conclusion that “I am doing just great the way I am. I do good things, I don’t need to worry, everything is going to be fine!”

To find out more about how Play Therapy works in general, click here.

Once a 7-year old girl was in the Playroom and a toy broke.

I didn’t try and help or control her, I let her decide what she wanted to do which was to try and fix it. I then reflected back to her a description of each step in her efforts to fix it without judging or evaluation. She eventually was successful in fixing it and exclaimed herself proudly, “I know how to fix things!” That was the creation of true self-esteem right there! Real self-esteem is esteem that needs to come from the self, not the other. If I praise and evaluate a child, she will gain unhealthy other-esteem. The goal of tracking is to get the child to evaluate him or herself, that creates true self-esteem.

For a fascinating discussion of how celebration is better than praise, click here.

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Tracking reduces perfectionism,

as my constant reflection and acceptance shows the child that mediocre, less than perfect performance is just as good as better performance. He learns the beauty of the mundane, the liberation and joy of being just average. He learns that it is not objective, measurable achievement that has real value, but rather it is the honoring of his own desires, his appreciating the uniqueness of his own experience, including his moment to moment feelings and the simple everyday activities of the self, that has true value. Together with my interpersonal celebration of each decision, feeling and simple accomplishment, this greatly relieves any shame he may have been feeling, and drives up his self-confidence and self-esteem, leading him to no longer feel the pressure to achieve perfection and amazing accomplishments.

For a discussion of the benefits of Play Therapy for a child’s emotional health, click here.

Reprimands, criticism, scolding and disapproval, except in case of danger, are practically non-existent in the Playroom.

This gets the child into the habit of being so completely respected, honored, accepted and approved of, that it goes a long way to counterbalance the ill effects of any reprimands he may have received in the past. This greatly reduces his fear and anxiety regarding reprimands. In addition amazingly, it gets the child so used to being treated well that he begins to demand others also treat him likewise outside the session. Once I had an 8-year old who told his father, “Don’t talk to me that way, you need to play with me like Joseph!” The father to his credit took the hint and made changes to his son’s benefit.

99 percent of the time, no matter what the child does in the Playroom, whether he’s unsuccessful at something, accidentally breaks a toy, throws something or spills paint on the wall, my reaction is very relaxed and anxiety-free. Therefore he or she learns the great example, that many different things may happen in life, but there’s no need to get anxious, almost everything is really Ok! One time a 4-year old girl was in the car on the way to our session, and she misbehaved a bit, and her mother said, “Hey you better behave or I’m going to tell Joseph!” She responded, “Oh, Joseph, don’t worry about him, he won’t get angry, he likes me!” She had truly developed the confidence that from me she would get no problems, only good things.

This also reduces catastrophizing, as the child learns from the playroom that things generally have a positive end.

There are so many fantastic benefits of Child-Centered Play Therapy!

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Not only does Play Therapy reduce anxiety, but is totally resolves behavior problems such as tantrums, anger and defiance, reduces symptoms of ADHD and even depression, and generates a wonderful parent-child relationship! In addition it is also my kind heart and all the boundless acts of kindness I bestow upon a child in the Playroom that promotes healing. It is my greatest joy to help a child!

Furthermore, I work with teachers to help reduce academic pressure coming from homework and school. I used to be a teacher and I know how to talk to them. I have gotten teachers to reduce to workload at times when necessary which reduces pressure and anxiety.

The power of Parenting!

There is much that parents can do at home to reduce anxiety in their child. The most important thing to remember is to try to not be anxious yourself, or more specifically not to express anxiety in front of the child. This prevents the child from learning an anxious reaction by example. You need to cultivate the value that “Everything is Ok just the way it is. We have no problems! Everything about you, my child, and almost everything you do is just fine!” Problems may arise, but we take them in stride! We react to them with cool, calm acceptance.

In addition, it pays to avoid criticism, reprimands, scolding and disapproval like the plague! Usually whatever benefit you hope to gain through these things is outweighed by the damage done to the child’s emotional health. It’s wiser to tolerate mischief and mistakes with a smile!

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During Parenting Counseling, I gradually get to know parents and their child, and how the whole family works, and instead of giving so much direct advice, I help parents to develop their own innate wisdom which I am convinced every parent possesses. In this way I help them to develop their own personally tailored plan to resolve their child’s issue. A plan they developed themselves is one they are more likely to cherish and implement.

To find out how Parenting can help reduce ADHD symptoms, click here.

Play Therapy for anxiety, together with Parenting Counseling are the amazing double tools which can resolve almost any child’s anxiety, and most other issues as well!

To find out more about Child-Centered Play Therapy, click here.

Please be advised that the above represents a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect parents to be perfect. So have patience with yourself and try to adopt new ideas gradually.

***

Joseph Sacks is a child psychotherapist in lower Manhattan. He specializes in using Child-Centered Play Therapy to resolve behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, anger and ADHD. It is amazing how well Play Therapy works to resolve these issues!

In addition Joseph helps parents to develop their own unique parenting approach to resolve their children’s issues. The parent-child relationship is the most important element in any child’s life, and by simply tuning up that relationship, we can have a tremendously beneficial effect. Joseph has written over 120 fascinating and well-researched articles on parenting and Play Therapy, which can be found at Tribecaplaytherapy.com.

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : anxiety, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy gams, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys

Play Therapy Termination Activity: The Chain of Intentions by Jennifer Taylor

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· December 21, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Termination of play therapy services can be difficult for the counselor and the child. The relationship formed during the months of therapy is one of the most important aspects of the process. Termination activities differ across settings:  some offices provide certificates and some simply said good bye.

Today, I will share a termination activity that has been quite popular in my office.

The truth is that it is also a goal setting activity. So, you can use it at the beginning and the end of therapy.

It started way back in January 2016….I like to call it the Chain of Intentions.

The Inspiration for This Termination Activity

The Chain of Intentions was inspired by a commercial that I watched about the My Intent Project.  According to their webpage,

We believe there is purpose inside each of us and we want our efforts to encourage people to share more truth and inspiration with each other. We are not a jewelry company – we are an intentions project-My Intent Project

Despite their claim not to be a jewelry company, they do in fact, make jewelry. The customer chooses a word of inspiration to have marked on a disc and uses that as inspiration or motivation in their daily life.

(Note…I have no affiliation with the My Intent project and have received no financial compensation from them…this is purely background).

So, I ordered one with my intention for my play therapy practice.

My word was FOCUS.

Focus on PLAY THERAPY.

See, I have a habit of saying yes to all opportunities. Those things were taking me away from my core mission which was to use play therapy to help children deal with trauma or other difficulties at home or in school.

I needed to FOCUS.

But, because I could not buy a necklace as a termination gift for each or my clients, I came up with a way to create a chain of intentions with all of the (willing) clients and students that came to my office.

Chain of Intention Instructions:

  1. I started by tying a very long piece of yarn to the air ducts in my office to form a string that went from one end of my office to the other. You could do this by tying it to a nail or a hook of any kind.
  2. Cut out strips of construction paper by folding in half vertically and then folding in half again. You will get 4 strips for each standard sheet.
  3. Using a marker, I wrote my word FOCUS and made the first circle around the piece of yarn. It was very sad and lonely all by itself. 
  4. As children noticed it and started to ask about it, I told them the story about the necklace that I just told you.   Now..even though I said this was a termination activity, it can also be a treatment goal activity.
  5. If a child wanted to create an intention as a treatment plan goal, I allowed them to make a strip with a word about what they wanted to achieve during their therapy visits. Children choose things like listen, happy, create, design, friends.   Make sure that the intention is positive. So no chains that say “Stop, no, don’t.”
  6. I had the child stand on a chair and link their strip onto mine (or the last one up) and then staple it themselves so that their word of intention was visible.
  7. At the end of therapy, the child would either create another strip (or do one for the first time if they were not interested in doing a goal strip) that said what they learned during the therapy. Or sometimes, it was a benefit or just something they wanted to continue working on. Their INTENTION after our services ended. Some wrote happy, friends, joy, connection, success. Again, I had the child write the word, put it up and staple it themselves.
  8. If children were too young to spell, they tried their best. Or they drew a picture. Sometimes, I wrote the word down and they copied it.

 

 

Thoughts on Termination

The end result was a way for them to leave something behind. A testament to the power of therapy and the work that was accomplished. A motivation for other children that success was possible. And a vision for their future about what could help guide them after therapy was over.

My goal was to get from one side of the room to the other. It took the entire year. My office is big! But as it grew, it became a fixture in the office and I am excited to take it down and start again. And a little sad to see it go. I am thinking that I can use it as a garland for my office Christmas tree. A symbolic way to honor the work of the year and transition into the intentions for the new one.

***

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for an other great reader submission! Check out more from Jennifer at jentaylorplaytherapy.com

Have a post you would like to feature on our page? Let us know!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : Play Therapy, sand play, sand play therapy, sand therapy, sand tray therapy, sandplay therapy, sandtray therapy, termination of play therapy, termination of therapy, therapy tools

September Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 27, 2017 
· No Comments
“The activities that are the easiest, cheapest, and most fun to do – such as singing, playing games, reading, storytelling, and just talking and listening – are also the best for child development.” – Jerome Singer (professor, Yale University)

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Wondering what the essential toys for a playroom are? We can help with that! In Jennifer Taylor’s post about playroom essentials, she highlights all of the staple items needed for a complete playroom. From sand tray miniatures to play therapy games, Taylor shows you what you could be missing and why it’s important to include these items in your playroom experience. View her list and links to the perfect playroom here!

Articles

We all want to praise children when they succeed, but according to new international research, how you praise your child could either motivate them to work hard, or motivate them to cheat. According to the study, published in Psychological Science, praising a child for simply being smart could actually cause them to feel pressure to perform up to high expectations, which may cause them to cheat, whereas complimenting a child’s effort will motivate them to work hard, and perform at their full potential. Read the full article here!

“The resilience of an individual depends on drawing resources from many other systems,” said University of Minnesota psychologist Ann S. Masten, PhD, who has studied the subject of child resiliency for 40 years. According to Masten, fostering resiliency in children is accomplished not only by the child’s innate ability to cope and problem-solve, but also by the relationships and support they receive outside of themselves. This article outlines all of the important factors that help a developing child boost resilience, and why you should care. Read the full article here!

Every parent contends with stress. Work stress, family stress, financial stress. It’s important not to let that stress trickle down to your children, says Katie Hurley. In this article she outlines different types of stress, how to identify your triggers, and most importantly, how to practice letting go of those things that are eating you up. When we feel stress, our children see and experience that stress with us, so it’s important to demonstrate coping skills to alleviate those tensions.  Read the full article here!

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy books, Play Therapy Games, Play Therapy Toys, Reader Submissions, Social Issues, Wrap Up
Tags : child therapy toys, childhood stress, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy toys, sand tray miniatures, sand tray therapy, stress, teens, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games, therapy toys

What are the “Must Have” Toys for a New Play Therapist? By Jennifer Taylor

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 11, 2017 
· 1 Comment

Questions about “must have” toys get asked so many times by clinicians new to the field of play therapy.  And, the answers can vary widely.  I’ve given parents some of my favorite toys in the past.

Dr. Landreth’s “Must Have” Toy Categories:

The foundation for play therapy training for a lot of clinicians is Dr. Garry Landreth and Child Centered Play Therapy.  He advises that play therapists include several toys from each of three categories.  Note that this list does not include everything that would fit into each category (they are just examples) and also that you do need everything on any list

Real Life

  • Play kitchens and play food
  • Doctor kits and band-aids
  • Dolls and Dollhouses
  • Animals, Cars, Trucks, People
  • Cash Register and Play Money

Expressive/Creative

  • Art supplies
  • Paint
  • Play-doh
  • Dress Up
  • Puppets and Puppet Theater

Aggressive/Emotional Release

  • Toy guns 
  • Foam swords
  • Rubber knives
  • Rope
  • Soldiers
  • Aggressive puppets or figures (sharks, dinosaur, alligator, etc)

Directive Play Therapists “Must Have” Toys

When doing  more structured or directive play therapy interventions, you usually need things like:

  • Books
  • Therapeutic games
  • Traditional board games
  • UNO cards
  • Playing cards
  • Cooperative Board Games

“Must Have” Elements of a Play Therapy Space

It can be quite easy to find excellent toys everywhere you go.  And Dr. Garry Landreth reminds us all to beware of the urge to get everything.  He says in his book, The Art of the Relationship, “Toys should be selected, not collected.”  

And I created this infographic to summarize my thoughts on creating the perfect play therapy space that you might find helpful.

Reframing The Question

But, I just recently heard it explained in a wonderful way by a colleague, Dr. Jessica Stone, who responded to this very question during a discussion board about the Play Therapy Summit.   She gave me permission to share it with you:

Hi all, I like to take an approach of collecting gems along my way in this field. I am not sure I could identify the one thing my office couldn’t live without. It is complex. Is that my personal favorite thing? Or my client’s? Or the majority of my clients? What comprises a favorite thing?

I believe what we have in our offices needs to be a balance of 1) what is congruent with who we are, what we believe, what our theoretical foundation is, what our space allows comfortably, etc. and 2) what speaks our client’s language, what helps our clients speak, what speaks to our clients, what allows them to experience feeling heard, seen, important, and understood.

I like to take a gem from Maria Montessori and think of the tools in my office as a way of scaffolding within the office. There are items that fit where they are in this moment, items that help them move forward, and items that work when they need to regress a bit.

Sometimes these tools aren’t our preferred or favorite. Sometimes they are. As I look around my office in response to your question I think about the clients who use the majority of the tools in my office on any given day but I also think about that one client, the one who found the tool that meant the most to them and they used it in the most amazing way – whatever that meant for them – Jessica Stone, Ph.D., RPT-S”

As I was packing up my office to move out of the state this week, I found Dr Stone’s words especially helpful.  I usually play loud music when doing tasks like this, but this time, I held each of the toys and remembered the children that used them and how they used them.  It was a mix of joy and sadness as I reflected on all of those shared moments in this specific playroom.

Final Thoughts:

In the end, I would recommend selecting a few items from each of Dr. Garry Landreth’s categories and then considering Dr. Stone’s advice about seeing the value of all the different toys in the playroom. But, know that whatever you have is enough.  As long as you are in the room,  focusing on the relationship with the child and responding in an authentic manner

 

**The post What are the “Must Have” Toys for a New Play Therapist? appeared first on Jennifer Taylor Play Therapy.

 

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Categories : ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Art Therapy, Behavior, Books, Child Development, Communication, Conflict, Depression, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Play Therapy books, Play Therapy Toys, Reader Submissions, Sandplay/Sand Tray Therapy, Social Issues

Counseling Games I’m Enjoying this Week by Dr. Gary Yorke

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 26, 2017 
· No Comments

My playroom shelves are packed full of therapy games. I mean, really packed. I have well over a hundred therapy and counseling games on my shelves. As the president of the largest US publisher of therapeutic and counseling games, I have a lot more options than most child clinicians when it comes to acquiring games and selecting the ones I want to use in my sessions. Most of the time I try to be prescriptive. That is, I select games and activities most appropriate to the client I’m meeting with. Despite taking this approach I find myself gravitating to some games much more than others. Below are some of the games that I’m getting the most out of right now, and would recommend to my fellow clinicians for their play therapy practices.

 

Yes I Can! Handle My Anger – I’m a little biased, since I developed this activity. The Yes I Can! Handle My Anger game is designed to help participants understand and appreciate various aspects of being angry. There are three types of cards designed to help participants identify triggers for anger, identify positive and negative behaviors associated with anger, and identify thoughts associated with anger. Developing anger management skills is aided by discussion and role playing during the game. Participants use the cards to spell out “Yes I Can!” as they play, which keeps them interested and engaged.

 

Bridge Over Worried Waters – Anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health problems during childhood and adolescence. Anxiety affects normal day-to-day activities and causes considerable emotional and physical distress as well as impaired academic and social functioning. Bridge Over Worried Waters is designed to support treatment of anxiety disorders in children ages 6-13 years old. The game incorporates relaxation, positive self-talk, and other coping behaviors into a game format. I like this game because it teaches concrete skills as well as providing lots of opportunities for discussion and exploration.

 

The Social & Emotional Competence Board Game –  The Social and Emotional Competence Board Game was designed to give counselors and teachers another tool to teach social and emotional skills. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain relationships with others. The Social and Emotional Competence Game is a fun way to teach empathy, communication skills, self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, self-management, and responsible decision-making. Of course, I’m biased about this game since I developed it as well. It has turned out to be one of our best-selling games and I’ve received a lot of positive feedback.

The Social & Emotional Competence Card Game (ADHD cards) –  The Social and Emotional Competence Game Card Set (Revised) can be used with the Social and Emotional Competence Board Game or as a stand alone card game. I use it both ways. The goal is to educate players about a specific disorder and provide skills for managing the disorder. There are five decks of cards, one for each disorder: Anxiety, Depression ADHD, Asperger’s, and Bipolar Disorder. When playing the board game, any of the five decks can be substituted for the Communication cards. The cards are used to facilitate an appreciation and understanding of the child’s difficulties, and develop strategies for managing and coping with their challenges. I have been using the ADHD and Anxiety cards, without the board, a lot lately. There are no time constraints and the game can be played for 5 minutes or 15. The game is over whenever time runs out.

 

Dr. Playwell’s Don’t Stress Game –  Stress is a factor that contributes to almost every mental health problem. Stress can affect a child’s physical health, too. This is an engaging game helps children develop some of the skills they need to deal with all kinds of stress, including both developmental and situational problems. I’ve found that this game engages kids well.

 

Boundaries Baseball – Boundaries Baseball helps children understand and respect boundaries. Boundaries are essential for positive relationships with peers and adults; children who act out are often asking for the security of clear boundaries and the skills needed to respect them. Boundaries Baseball utilizes a baseball diamond format as a visual reminder for not going out of bounds. As part of the action of the play, participants will also have opportunities to toss a ball so that it stays within the boundaries of a strike zone. Game cards teach four kinds of boundaries: (1) Saying and accepting No, (2) Managing strong emotions, (3) Respecting personal space and property, and (4) Relationship/communication limits (friendship). This is another very engaging game.

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Categories : Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Games
Tags : child play therapy toys, Play Therapy, therapeutic games for children, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games

Should Your Playroom Include Aggressive Toys Like Play Guns? by Jennifer Taylor, LCSW, RPT

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 6, 2017 
· No Comments

Play therapists widely regard the use of aggressive toys, including toys guns, as an essential element to the playroom. However, many parents are hesitant to allow their children to play with toy guns. Nearly all schools have banned the use of toys guns (or even pretend shooting) completely.

Over the years, I have had some toy guns (not realistic looking ones, though) and other times I have taken them out.  As a therapist, the use of toys guns is not essential, but the use of aggressive toys, is vital.

What is an Aggressive Toy?

Aggressive toys are anything that a child can use to get out pent up anger or hostility.  These toys can be used to role play fights or battles, good guy/bad guy situation, or other trauma re-enactments.

 

Examples of aggressive toys include:

  • Non-realistic toy guns

  • Rubber knives

  • Foam swords

  • “Mean” animals like sharks, dinosaurs, alligators, lions, etc.

  • Toy soldiers (two different colors)

  • Handcuffs

  • Rope (I use a jump rope with the handles removed)

  • Bop Bag

What is an Aggressive-Release Toy?

Aggressive-Release Toys are toys that are okay to destroy or break in some way. These toys help redirect actual aggression into a more acceptable alternative.

Examples of aggressive-release toys include:

  • Egg cartons (can be crushed)
  • Bubble wrap (can be popped)
  • Paper (can be ripped up)
  • Popsicle sticks (can be snapped or jabbed into clay)
  • Wet paper towels (can be thrown against wall outside or on easel)
  • Clay or Play-doh (can be pounded)

Why Are Aggressive Toys Useful In Therapy?

Expressing Anger

Children need a safe opportunity to express feelings of anger.  In the play therapy environment, children can use aggressive toys to play out things that are happening with people in their lives. BUT…when it is done with an animal instead of a doll person, it feels safer to the child.  It is the same feeling/movements/thoughts but it doesn’t feel as real.

Relieving Physical Tension

Also, when using aggressive release toys, children get to move their bodies in a way that helps relieve the physical tension that anger brings.  Pounding clay, stomping egg cartons, or swinging foam swords helps move the body in ways that release tension and the accompanying noise that the movement makes also helps reduce tension.

Learning Boundaries

Finally, aggressive play helps teach children boundaries.  In rough/aggressive play, children learn how hard to swing without actually hurting the therapist, or how fast to move without falling down.  They learn how to “take a break” if someone needs to rest and how to start back up again.  I have witnessed siblings learn how to set rules for “fair fights” using foam swords and how to negotiate cheating.

Sword Fighting Aggressive Play

My Kids Sword Fighting

Do Aggressive Toys Create Aggressive Children?

It depends on what research you read.  A few studies have shown that aggression may increase temporarily after playing with aggressive toys.  This DOES seem to be more true when you are talking about playing violent video games (different story there). But, long-term, there is no reliable evidence that toy guns create more aggressive kids.

In fact, the opposite holds more true.  If a child has an appropriate place to express and display anger, then they are less likely to use anger with their peers (or parents).  Telling children, “Don’t get mad” is not nearly as helpful as teaching them what to do when they are mad to diffuse it.  The use of aggressive release toys helps teach children what to do with their angry in a way that will not get them in trouble.

Children Will Find Creative Ways To Express Aggression

In fact, many therapists find that children will turn neutral toys like blocks or their fingers into guns, knives, or bombs in order to communicate their needs with whatever is available.  The expression often goes:

If a child needs a gun to represent something going on in their life, they will find something and turn it into a gun (either in shape or with the noises that they make) to communicate that need.”

What To Do If You Are Uncomfortable With Toy Guns?

  1. Set limits.  It might be that toy guns are only for target practice. “Guns are not for shooting at people.”  When I have any toy guns in my office, I NEVER shoot at children.  I have let them shoot at me, but I would not shoot back at them.  If they tell me to shoot them, I would act out thinking about it but being so worried that they would die or I would go to jail or some other bad  outcome.  A great play therapist, Lisa Dion, writes more about how to play aggressively with children in her book, Integrating Extremes: Aggression and Death in the Playroom. 
  2. Set different limits for different games.  You might say that you can not shoot at me in general, but then we make a specific limit for Nerf or laser style games where we have defined a goal or specific rules. These games typically have teams, time limits, and rules of engagement.  You discuss them in advance and determine that the shooting ends when the game ends.
  3. Make sure your guns look very fake.  Avoid anything that is at all realistic.  Guns that are bright colors, light up, or make silly noises all classify as fake guns.  Guns that shoot foam balls.
  4. Use the alternative aggressive toys.  If you are still not comfortable with toy guns, use the alternatives.  Foam swords are generally more fun than toy guns anyway.

A Side Note About Gun Safety:

Regardless of your use of toy guns, there is never a bad time to talk with children about what to do if they find a gun while playing.  Just recently, there was an incident here in Memphis where a child picked up a gun and shot his brother accidentally.

There are many factors in that case that have nothing to do with aggressive play or aggressive toys. And yet, the underlying fear is that if we let our children play with aggressive toys, things like this will happen.  So…

  1. Talk about actual gun safety.  Talk with your children about what to do if they ever encountered a gun outside of the playroom and what to do and not do about it.  You can discuss that they should never pick up a gun outside of the playroom and that they should notify an adult right away.
  2. Require gun safety from adults.  It’s okay to ask the parents of your child’s friends if they own any weapons and how/where they have them stored.  Same goes for grandparents or other relatives. Don’t just assume that they are responsible gun owners, make them prove it.  Everyone that I know that has any weapons in their home can easily tell me how they are keeping them safe.

Final Thoughts:

Recently, I polled a group of play therapists and they overwhelmingly reported that they not only had toy guns in their offices, but that they found them to be an essential component of a play therapy space. However, those that did not have toy guns felt that the same benefits were achieved through the use of other aggressive release toys (like ropes, knives and swords) without the complications.

PS.

Moreover, representing reality in the playroom is important.  The truth is that many children have parents that work with weapons (law enforcement and military) and others have been exposed to very traumatic events involving drug raids, shootings, or other community violence.

To deny access to those items or experiences seems to somehow convey that those feelings, thoughts or experiences are shameful, wrong, or not important.  The playroom is a place to overcome those feelings and any toys that facilitate that process are okay in my office.

Do you allow your children to play with toy guns?

***

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for this great post!

To check out Jennifer’s website, click here!

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Categories : Anger, Behavior, Bullying, Communication, Conflict, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : aggression, anger, bop bags, development, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy toys
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