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Archive for anxiety

November Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· December 4, 2018 
· No Comments

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie

Blog

There is a new mobile app that assists teens with medical and emotional challenges in explore and trusting their feelings. Though the hardship is ever-present for theses young adults, they are rarely given an outlet. With the game Shadow’s Edge, they are provided psycho-educational content in a fun ad fulfilling game- right on their phones! Read full post here.

Articles

The University of North Carolina has conducted a study on the affect of familial relationships on bullying. It was found that adolescents with good familial relationships were more likely to correctly identify bullying when they saw it, as well as intervene. This is important because while bullying often takes place outside of the home, it is very much a process that can begin or end with a child’s life at home. Read more here.

Don’t suppress your emotions! It’s been long assumed that it’s better to hide negative feelings or thoughts from children, though it’s known to cause emotional distress to the suppressor. In a study conducted by Washington State University, it was discovered that emotional suppression is just as bad for children, as they pick up on the negativity and learn inadequate methods for coping. Instead, express your feelings in a healthy way and turn your negative feelings into a positive example! Read more here.

Jessica Minahan is a certified behavior analyst, special educator, and author. She is typically called into schools to assist with challenging behavior in the classroom. She identifies the most likely reasons for acting out as anxiety, ADHD, and depression. She arms teachers with tips to interact with and motivate anxious or defiant students. Read more here.

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Categories : Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : anxiety, child development, childhood stress, feelings, mental health disorders, parenting, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapeutic games for teens

Shadow’s Edge: A Mobile Game for Teens Who Struggle with Chronic Illness

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· November 30, 2018 
· No Comments

 

For young people who struggle with chronic illnesses or emotional challenge, the weight of their trauma is ever-present, yet rarely are they given the opportunity to talk about the dark or scary side of their situations, let alone have a tool to help them move through and grow from their experience.

Enter the Digging Deep Project, with the mission of empowering teens to take charge of their emotional health in fun and engaging ways.

The Project’s newest product, the recently released mobile game, Shadow’s Edge, is designed to build resilience in teens with medical or emotional challenges. Combining psychology and technology, this free app reaches teens with psycho-educational content right where they are—on their mobile devices and playing games!

Shadow’s Edge players are guided through a process of journaling and creative expression, helping these teen players come to terms with their challenges within an immersive, edgy game world.

The quest of the player is to revive Shadow’s Edge, a city that has been decimated by storm.  Through gameplay, teens learn they can rebuild their lives by trusting their feelings and finding meaning in their experience.

Teens struggling with hardship needn’t stay in an isolated or dark world—they have the power to reshape it. They can create beauty where there was once dilapidation: There can be light; There can be colour; There can be hope.

Available for free on the App Store and Google Play. For more information and blog for and by teens visit www.shadowsedge.com.  For parents and professionals, more information on www.diggingdeep.org.

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Categories : Behavior, Conflict, Depression, Feelings, Parenting, Play Therapy Games
Tags : anger, anxiety, board games, childhood stress, counseling games, family roles, feelings, games, Play Therapy, play therapy gams, teens, therapeutic games for teens, therapy games

How Does Play Therapy Reduce Anxiety in Children? by Joseph Sacks, LCSW

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 24, 2018 
· No Comments

Is your child struggling with anxiety?

Is he or she visibly tense or nervous at different times during the day?

Does he put pressure on himself to get everything perfect, and is distressed when he makes mistakes or things don’t turn out just right?

Do your efforts to get her to relax only make things worse, making you feel powerless to help her?

Do you wonder about Play Therapy and anxiety regarding your child?

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Anxiety is one of the most common disorders in children, affecting over 10 percent of those under 18. Unfortunately, it can rob a child of the happiness that he or she needs so much.

The good news is that Child-Centered Play Therapy, together with Parenting Counseling, can do wonders to reduce and even resolve childhood anxiety!

I have seen it bring improvement with many children!

How does it work?

Often anxiety in children is generated by when a child, because of certain stressors in his or her life, develops feelings of shame and being in a state of low self-esteem. These feelings of low self-worth lead to anxiety in several ways. It may lead some children towards perfectionism, where the child feels badly about himself and tries to redeem himself from those feelings by creating self-imposed pressure to be very good, to have amazing performance or near-perfect output.

The underlying psychological mechanism is that the child reasons,

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“Feeling so badly about myself is intolerable and I feel helpless to remedy it. What can I actively do to fix it? I know, I will be such a good boy, I will work very hard to accomplish amazing things, and then I will be so accomplished that I will be so proud that I will automatically and necessarily feel great about myself! For sure I will no longer feel badly or ashamed.” Along these lines we find the genesis of perfectionism. The problem is that such a strategy can never work, because objective external accomplishments, no matter how great, cannot defuse the cause and fuel of his low self-esteem. So often even after accomplishing much, the child still feels badly, and then resolves to strive even further towards perfection. This can create great anxiety because after all, consistent, perfect performance is impossible, and the child will inevitably almost always fall short of his desired goals, creating great fear of failure.

To learn more about treating perfectionism in teens or older children, click here.

In addition his idealizing of perfect performance leads him to judge himself very harshly when he is imperfect,

generating much shame and anxiety over being stranded in a state of low self-esteem.

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Furthermore, such children may have unfortunately been criticized by people in their life, and they feel they must get everything perfect and achieve amazing things to get themselves beyond the reach of any potential criticism. This pressure generates anxiety.

To learn more about the pitfalls of criticizing children, click here.

Another common cause of anxiety is fear of reprimands and disapproval of the adults in a child’s life.

Children feel very small and powerless compared to adults and they cringe and wither under fear of reprimands, scolding, disapproval and criticism. Some children are constantly worried about not meriting enough approval and avoiding rebuke, and this generates significant anxiety. They feel pressure that they are not Ok they way they presently are, and they constantly have to measure up.

To learn more about the pitfalls of scolding and reprimands, click here.

Sometimes children learn to be anxious by example,

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important people in their lives display anxiety under stress and they learn to do the same, thinking, “They get anxious when such things happen, I guess I should be anxious too!”

Anxious children often engage in something called catastrophizing, where their fears spiral out of control, “Oh no, this is going to happen and then it is going to lead to that, and then that and everything is going to fall apart and be terrible!”

However in the Playroom all of this including perfectionism, low self-esteem, shame, fear of reprimands and disapproval, an anxious example and catastrophizing all get turned around!

How does Play Therapy for anxiety work?

In the Playroom, I don’t tell the child what to do, he or she completely makes all of his own decisions and I follow him, showing great respect and validation for all of his expressed feelings, desires, decisions and needs. This gives the child an exhilarating sense of control over his own life and destiny, leading him to think, “I don’t have to be anxious that things are not going to turn out well. I have the power to make things go the way I want and need, to make things go right!” In this way, his or her anxiety gets reduced right off the bat.

Furthermore, I demonstrate for the child in the Playroom and attitude of complete acceptance, validation and non-evaluation.

In other words, no matter what the child does, I don’t judge or evaluate him, I simply reflect back a pure acceptance of how he chooses to create his own experience. This leads the child to think, “The things I do are Ok, I’m fine just the way I am.”

This all is accomplished through the curious Play Therapy for anxiety technique called tracking,

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where, similar to a sportscaster describing a game, I reflect back to the child verbally every feeling or desire expressed, decision taken or accomplishment earned. For example, when a child picks up a toy to examine it, establish temporary ownership over it, and considers how he is going to play with it, this is important business for him in his world! Therefore I reflect back and enthusiastic , “Oh, now you’ve got that!” This direct, emotionally charged statement shows the child I am celebrating with him his great accomplishment of realizing and honoring his own desire, of controlling his own destiny, of putting into action his own plan to empower himself! This tracking is done constantly for every action, and the character of the verbal expression I make is personally tailored to suit perfectly each move and decision he makes. Over time it does wonders for building self-esteem, because the tracking gives him a criticism and evaluation-free opportunity to view himself in a positive light. By gaining a simple awareness of the uniqueness and special value of each individual aspect of his self as it develops in the playroom, the natural result is the conclusion that “I am doing just great the way I am. I do good things, I don’t need to worry, everything is going to be fine!”

To find out more about how Play Therapy works in general, click here.

Once a 7-year old girl was in the Playroom and a toy broke.

I didn’t try and help or control her, I let her decide what she wanted to do which was to try and fix it. I then reflected back to her a description of each step in her efforts to fix it without judging or evaluation. She eventually was successful in fixing it and exclaimed herself proudly, “I know how to fix things!” That was the creation of true self-esteem right there! Real self-esteem is esteem that needs to come from the self, not the other. If I praise and evaluate a child, she will gain unhealthy other-esteem. The goal of tracking is to get the child to evaluate him or herself, that creates true self-esteem.

For a fascinating discussion of how celebration is better than praise, click here.

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Tracking reduces perfectionism,

as my constant reflection and acceptance shows the child that mediocre, less than perfect performance is just as good as better performance. He learns the beauty of the mundane, the liberation and joy of being just average. He learns that it is not objective, measurable achievement that has real value, but rather it is the honoring of his own desires, his appreciating the uniqueness of his own experience, including his moment to moment feelings and the simple everyday activities of the self, that has true value. Together with my interpersonal celebration of each decision, feeling and simple accomplishment, this greatly relieves any shame he may have been feeling, and drives up his self-confidence and self-esteem, leading him to no longer feel the pressure to achieve perfection and amazing accomplishments.

For a discussion of the benefits of Play Therapy for a child’s emotional health, click here.

Reprimands, criticism, scolding and disapproval, except in case of danger, are practically non-existent in the Playroom.

This gets the child into the habit of being so completely respected, honored, accepted and approved of, that it goes a long way to counterbalance the ill effects of any reprimands he may have received in the past. This greatly reduces his fear and anxiety regarding reprimands. In addition amazingly, it gets the child so used to being treated well that he begins to demand others also treat him likewise outside the session. Once I had an 8-year old who told his father, “Don’t talk to me that way, you need to play with me like Joseph!” The father to his credit took the hint and made changes to his son’s benefit.

99 percent of the time, no matter what the child does in the Playroom, whether he’s unsuccessful at something, accidentally breaks a toy, throws something or spills paint on the wall, my reaction is very relaxed and anxiety-free. Therefore he or she learns the great example, that many different things may happen in life, but there’s no need to get anxious, almost everything is really Ok! One time a 4-year old girl was in the car on the way to our session, and she misbehaved a bit, and her mother said, “Hey you better behave or I’m going to tell Joseph!” She responded, “Oh, Joseph, don’t worry about him, he won’t get angry, he likes me!” She had truly developed the confidence that from me she would get no problems, only good things.

This also reduces catastrophizing, as the child learns from the playroom that things generally have a positive end.

There are so many fantastic benefits of Child-Centered Play Therapy!

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Not only does Play Therapy reduce anxiety, but is totally resolves behavior problems such as tantrums, anger and defiance, reduces symptoms of ADHD and even depression, and generates a wonderful parent-child relationship! In addition it is also my kind heart and all the boundless acts of kindness I bestow upon a child in the Playroom that promotes healing. It is my greatest joy to help a child!

Furthermore, I work with teachers to help reduce academic pressure coming from homework and school. I used to be a teacher and I know how to talk to them. I have gotten teachers to reduce to workload at times when necessary which reduces pressure and anxiety.

The power of Parenting!

There is much that parents can do at home to reduce anxiety in their child. The most important thing to remember is to try to not be anxious yourself, or more specifically not to express anxiety in front of the child. This prevents the child from learning an anxious reaction by example. You need to cultivate the value that “Everything is Ok just the way it is. We have no problems! Everything about you, my child, and almost everything you do is just fine!” Problems may arise, but we take them in stride! We react to them with cool, calm acceptance.

In addition, it pays to avoid criticism, reprimands, scolding and disapproval like the plague! Usually whatever benefit you hope to gain through these things is outweighed by the damage done to the child’s emotional health. It’s wiser to tolerate mischief and mistakes with a smile!

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During Parenting Counseling, I gradually get to know parents and their child, and how the whole family works, and instead of giving so much direct advice, I help parents to develop their own innate wisdom which I am convinced every parent possesses. In this way I help them to develop their own personally tailored plan to resolve their child’s issue. A plan they developed themselves is one they are more likely to cherish and implement.

To find out how Parenting can help reduce ADHD symptoms, click here.

Play Therapy for anxiety, together with Parenting Counseling are the amazing double tools which can resolve almost any child’s anxiety, and most other issues as well!

To find out more about Child-Centered Play Therapy, click here.

Please be advised that the above represents a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect parents to be perfect. So have patience with yourself and try to adopt new ideas gradually.

***

Joseph Sacks is a child psychotherapist in lower Manhattan. He specializes in using Child-Centered Play Therapy to resolve behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, anger and ADHD. It is amazing how well Play Therapy works to resolve these issues!

In addition Joseph helps parents to develop their own unique parenting approach to resolve their children’s issues. The parent-child relationship is the most important element in any child’s life, and by simply tuning up that relationship, we can have a tremendously beneficial effect. Joseph has written over 120 fascinating and well-researched articles on parenting and Play Therapy, which can be found at Tribecaplaytherapy.com.

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Categories : Anxiety, Child Development, Communication, Feelings, Parenting, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : anxiety, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy dolls, play therapy gams, play therapy intervention, play therapy toys

December Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· January 3, 2018 
· No Comments

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. – Kay Redfield Jamison

Blog

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for the wonderful play therapy termination activity. Stumped on how to end play therapy with a client on a warm and optimistic note? Try creating a chain on intentions with your exiting clients and let them leave as lasting an impression on your therapy room as you have had on them! Each link is a added as a client leaves therapy and each has it’s own message of positive intention for live post therapy. As time goes on, the chain, and the optimism, grows! What a creative and fun way to provide closure for your client.  Read more here!

Articles

In Perry Klass, M.D.’s article, she explains how exposure therapy can be instrumental in helping children to overcome anxiety. All children can experience worry and fear, but when that fear interferes with the child’s functioning, or inhibits them from learning or growing,  It may be time to seek help from a professional. Dr. Stephen P.H Whiteside of the Mayo Clinic, believes that exposing a child to whatever is causing the anxiety in a controlled and supportive environment will help them to overcome their fear and learn to cope with new fears. Anxiety manifests itself differently in children, even physically. A child can suffer some headaches and stomach pains due to anxiety. Not every child requires intervention for their anxiety, read the full article to know the signs of anxiety disorders and when to get help here.

December is the season of giving, but for some, it becomes the season of buying- Toys. We’re all guilty of wanting to give the young ones in our lives the world, or at least all the toys in the world, but according to the University of Toledo, when it comes to toys for children, less is more. Toddlers and children who have few toys actually play with more focus and creativity, which causes them to develop their imagination earlier, which can help with problem solving later in life. So when play time rolls around, choose quality versus quantity. Read full article here.

Should you let your child believe in Santa? Research in the field of developmental psychology actually cites some benefits to not only letting your child believe in Santa, but encouraging them to question and provide answers to the magic surrounding Santa Clause and all his fantastical feats. When they do discover that Santa is but a beloved Christmas myth, studies have shown that it’s actually the parents who are more upset than the children, who tend to feel part of a savvy community of “knowers,” rather than feeling betrayed or lied to. Another tip: Just because the belief in Santa stops, doesn’t mean the caliber of gifts given has to. If the big presents come from the parents every year, then when your child stops believing in Santa, they wont worry about what that means for Christmas morning festivities. Read full article here.

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Categories : Anxiety, Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : anxiety, child development, child play therapy toys, child therapy, therapy toys
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