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Archive for development

August Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· September 5, 2018 
· No Comments

Blog

This month, Dr. Gary shared the importance of emotional literacy. Therapists and counselors are often concerned about a child’s emotional literacy. Emotionally literate children can manage their feelings and their reactions to those feelings. They can recognize and respond to other people’s feelings, which is a significant advantage in life. Feelings are the most basic building blocks of social skills. Without the ability to recognize feelings in themselves and others, children are not able to master social interactions. Read more here.

Articles

New studies have found that toddlers as young as two years old are able to understand that their actions are being judged. They understand that their actions can render positive or negative reactions from others. This is important because it shows us that children, at a very young age, begin to understand far more than we assume. Read full article here.

As we return our loved ones back to school yards, campuses, and trusted teachers, we are too familiar with the temptations that our children face with each new school year. Social media is often an outlet to which they turn. The number of media platforms is ever-growing, however, and it may seem hopeless to a parent to monitor and supervise. Thankfully, we have found some useful tips to help you keep your loved ones safe on the web! Read full article here.

Bullying is scary. It’s a scary concept for parents that could become their child’s reality. But bullying in all forms is a sign of ignorance, and the best way to stop it is to educate your children about what bullying is, and what they should do it they see it, or become a victim. Loren Santos, a school counselor at Franklin Elementary School in Baltimore County, Maryland has six tips to help you talk about bullying with your children. Read full article here.

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Categories : Bullying, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Wrap Up
Tags : board games, childhood stress, counseling games, development, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy, therapeutic games for children

July Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· August 7, 2018 
· No Comments

Blog

This month produced a treasure trove of info and advice. Donna Hammontree outlined the differences between Rights, Responsibilities, Privileges, and Rewards. Knowing the difference between them is important to helping children and teens regulate their behavior. Donna cautions to be consistent when coaching your children/clients, and use positive reinforcement rather than negative. Read more here.

Articles

According to the University of Michigan, there is no correlation between pressuring you children to eat food they don’t want to eat, and positive results of any kind. Researchers say that picky eaters’ weight is unrelated to how hard their parents push them to eat “healthy” foods. likewise, their attitude towards those foods did not improved. You might just be fighting an uphill battle for no reason! Read full article here.

Living in the present has many advantages for children and adults alike. It can sometimes be easy to let worry and fear for what has been, or what could be, turn your day upside down. Rabbi Sam Frenkel’s mission is to use play therapy to help children overcome those worries by living in the present and focusing on today. Read full article here.

It can sometimes be hard to release the reins that keep a parent feeling in control of their children. But as a parent, your role is not to make your child’s decisions for them, but to teach them to make the right choices on their own. This can be exceptionally difficult because a parents first instinct will always be to ensure their child’s safety and happiness. Nancy Buck discusses how you can achieve that without being a helicopter parent. Read full article here.

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Categories : Anxiety, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Wrap Up
Tags : child development, childhood stress, counseling games, development, family roles, feelings, parenting, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy intervention

Rights, Responsibilities, Privileges, Rewards: Coaching Strategies by Donna Hammontree, LCSW, RPT-S

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· July 17, 2018 
· No Comments

Helping children learn to manage and regulate their behavior can be a challenge.  My colleague Mandy Miller, LCSW, shared her insights with me, and I use her system regularly when coaching parents, teens, and children. To start, everyone should be clear about what is a right, a responsibility, a privilege, and a reward.

Basic definitions
Rights:  food, shelter, clothes, love
Responsibilities:  respectfulness, completion of school and homework, doing chores, following adult directions
Privileges:  video games, cell phone access, television, crafts, time with friends, name brand clothes
Rewards:  ice cream outings, a trip to the toy store, having a friend over, trip to the park, choosing and playing a family game

After we are clear about our definitions, the next step is to shift from a negative approach, to a positive approach.  We want caregivers and parents to understand the benefits of focusing on earning privileges, rather than losing them. As an adult, if I drive my car responsibly, I earn and keep my privilege to drive.  If I choose to speed or run red lights, I may have to take city transportation or ride my bike.

Basic Guidelines
Consistency:  If 2 or more adults are involved in the home, everyone needs to be communicating and working together.
Short-term loss of privileges:  Privileges can be re-earned by changing the behavior quickly or by staying calm while engaging in or with something else.  Long-term loss of privileges can lead to hopelessness and increased defiance and oppositional behaviors.
Non-punitive:  The child either chooses to earn a privilege or not.  
Calm, caring and firm caregivers:  Adults need to stay emotionally untangled with any tantrums.  This means that the adult needs to remain calm, positive, and pleasant while not taking on the child’s emotions.  Parents should be coached in active listening: “I hear you are upset, and I’m sorry you lost your privilege … You feel really angry at me right now and are upset you lost your privilege.”  Parents should remain empathic and loving.

Additional Suggestions
Caregivers and parents may use this program exclusively within the home or the program may include activities outside of the home.  Children struggling outside of the home may benefit from having some of their privileges at home being made contingent on success at school or camp. For example, if the child has a green day, the child gets 1 hour of video games.  If the child has a “yellow” day, the child has to wait 15 minutes to start playing the video games for 45 minutes. Finally, if the child has a red day, the child has no video game time. The child can do anything else like play outside, read books, or play board games with the parent.  Time frames should match the child’s chronological or developmental age. If the school or camp day is included, teachers and parents will need to work closely together daily. Several days of success may be followed by additional privileges or reward activities.

Some children, especially younger ones, may need for the day to be divided into shorter parts, such as 8 a.m. to 10 a.m., 10 a.m. to noon, noon to 2 p.m. and so on.  Children with self-regulation and impulse control issues may benefit from even shorter periods of feedback.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Communication, Reader Submissions
Tags : child therapy, development, feelings, parenting

April Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· May 8, 2018 
· No Comments

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. -C.S. Lewis

 Blog

April was autism awareness month as well as child abuse prevention month. Our post this month showed the staggering statistics of child abuse, as well as highlighted methods to keep child therapists who work with abused children trained and emotionally healthy. Dr. Gary shared valuable resources for child therapists working with abused children. Read more here.

Articles

Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching the adults around them. That can seem stressful in and of itself, and you might find yourself saying, “Do as I say, not as I do!” But it’s OK for your children to learn their cues from you. You just have to be mindful of what you’re doing when you become emotional, i.e. angry, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, etc. This article outlines how to use your own body and feelings as teaching tools for healthy emotional coping. Read full article here.

Usually the feeling of guilt is an unpleasant one; a heavy one. In this new study,  researcher Amrisha Vaish, of the University of Virginia, finds that the beginning stages of guilt seem to develop around the age of three. Why is this significant? Vaish views the development of guilt as an opportunity for children to learn to make amends, and better foster social relationships. Read full article here.

There are too many factors to count that lead to a child growing into a productive adult with a “good” job. According to Jenny Anderson, letting children play more is a key factor. Playing leads to self discovery and problem solving and, “helping kids play more ‘will equip them to be relevant to the workplace and to society,’ said John Goodwin, CEO of the Lego Foundation and the former chief financial officer for The Lego Group.” Read full article here.

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Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Feelings, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy, Play Therapy news, Research and Case Studies, Resources, Trauma and Grief, Wrap Up
Tags : Child Abuse, child therapy, childhood stress, development, family roles, feelings, Play Therapy

May Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 9, 2017 
· No Comments

“Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father.”

–  Roger von Oech (President, Creative Think)

 

Blog

Thanks to Amy Flaherty for helping us get the sand toys organized. Shelf by shelf she reshaped the room that helps her client’s shape their sandtrays! If you need to organize your playroom and you need ideas for how, this is the post for you! Click here to read more!

Stacy Garcia re-invented the classic board game Sorry! and made it a great fit for her play therapy practice. Stacy believes that any game can be implemented as an effective tool for intervention and to help her clients learn.  Read about how she uses Sorry! here.

Articles

The Stellenbosch University of South Africa has done a study that shows that the emotional and behavioral health of teens with PTSD can be dramatically improved with therapy intervention. The treatment consisted of prolonged exposure therapy or supportive counselling in up to 14 sessions of 60 to 90 minutes each. The children who received the individual therapy maintained the benefits of the counseling longer then those who received group therapy session. For more information click here.

A new medication is being tested for autistic children that is thought to be helpful in children up to 14 years old. Tests so far on the drug have an effect that “restarts a more normal pattern of neurological development.” More testing is needed on the drug before it will be approved and available to the public. For more information click here.

While medication can be helpful to children with ADHD, a new study has shown that a more effective treatment may include Neurofeedback (NF), a form of behavioral therapy which aims to build skills in cortical self-regulation, in addition to medication. There are still more studies needed for NF training and its effect on children with ADHD. For more information click here.

 

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Categories : ADHD, Asperger's, Autism, Behavior, Child Development, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : development, feelings, mental health disorders, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy intervention, therapy toys

Should Your Playroom Include Aggressive Toys Like Play Guns? by Jennifer Taylor, LCSW, RPT

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· June 6, 2017 
· No Comments

Play therapists widely regard the use of aggressive toys, including toys guns, as an essential element to the playroom. However, many parents are hesitant to allow their children to play with toy guns. Nearly all schools have banned the use of toys guns (or even pretend shooting) completely.

Over the years, I have had some toy guns (not realistic looking ones, though) and other times I have taken them out.  As a therapist, the use of toys guns is not essential, but the use of aggressive toys, is vital.

What is an Aggressive Toy?

Aggressive toys are anything that a child can use to get out pent up anger or hostility.  These toys can be used to role play fights or battles, good guy/bad guy situation, or other trauma re-enactments.

 

Examples of aggressive toys include:

  • Non-realistic toy guns

  • Rubber knives

  • Foam swords

  • “Mean” animals like sharks, dinosaurs, alligators, lions, etc.

  • Toy soldiers (two different colors)

  • Handcuffs

  • Rope (I use a jump rope with the handles removed)

  • Bop Bag

What is an Aggressive-Release Toy?

Aggressive-Release Toys are toys that are okay to destroy or break in some way. These toys help redirect actual aggression into a more acceptable alternative.

Examples of aggressive-release toys include:

  • Egg cartons (can be crushed)
  • Bubble wrap (can be popped)
  • Paper (can be ripped up)
  • Popsicle sticks (can be snapped or jabbed into clay)
  • Wet paper towels (can be thrown against wall outside or on easel)
  • Clay or Play-doh (can be pounded)

Why Are Aggressive Toys Useful In Therapy?

Expressing Anger

Children need a safe opportunity to express feelings of anger.  In the play therapy environment, children can use aggressive toys to play out things that are happening with people in their lives. BUT…when it is done with an animal instead of a doll person, it feels safer to the child.  It is the same feeling/movements/thoughts but it doesn’t feel as real.

Relieving Physical Tension

Also, when using aggressive release toys, children get to move their bodies in a way that helps relieve the physical tension that anger brings.  Pounding clay, stomping egg cartons, or swinging foam swords helps move the body in ways that release tension and the accompanying noise that the movement makes also helps reduce tension.

Learning Boundaries

Finally, aggressive play helps teach children boundaries.  In rough/aggressive play, children learn how hard to swing without actually hurting the therapist, or how fast to move without falling down.  They learn how to “take a break” if someone needs to rest and how to start back up again.  I have witnessed siblings learn how to set rules for “fair fights” using foam swords and how to negotiate cheating.

Sword Fighting Aggressive Play

My Kids Sword Fighting

Do Aggressive Toys Create Aggressive Children?

It depends on what research you read.  A few studies have shown that aggression may increase temporarily after playing with aggressive toys.  This DOES seem to be more true when you are talking about playing violent video games (different story there). But, long-term, there is no reliable evidence that toy guns create more aggressive kids.

In fact, the opposite holds more true.  If a child has an appropriate place to express and display anger, then they are less likely to use anger with their peers (or parents).  Telling children, “Don’t get mad” is not nearly as helpful as teaching them what to do when they are mad to diffuse it.  The use of aggressive release toys helps teach children what to do with their angry in a way that will not get them in trouble.

Children Will Find Creative Ways To Express Aggression

In fact, many therapists find that children will turn neutral toys like blocks or their fingers into guns, knives, or bombs in order to communicate their needs with whatever is available.  The expression often goes:

If a child needs a gun to represent something going on in their life, they will find something and turn it into a gun (either in shape or with the noises that they make) to communicate that need.”

What To Do If You Are Uncomfortable With Toy Guns?

  1. Set limits.  It might be that toy guns are only for target practice. “Guns are not for shooting at people.”  When I have any toy guns in my office, I NEVER shoot at children.  I have let them shoot at me, but I would not shoot back at them.  If they tell me to shoot them, I would act out thinking about it but being so worried that they would die or I would go to jail or some other bad  outcome.  A great play therapist, Lisa Dion, writes more about how to play aggressively with children in her book, Integrating Extremes: Aggression and Death in the Playroom. 
  2. Set different limits for different games.  You might say that you can not shoot at me in general, but then we make a specific limit for Nerf or laser style games where we have defined a goal or specific rules. These games typically have teams, time limits, and rules of engagement.  You discuss them in advance and determine that the shooting ends when the game ends.
  3. Make sure your guns look very fake.  Avoid anything that is at all realistic.  Guns that are bright colors, light up, or make silly noises all classify as fake guns.  Guns that shoot foam balls.
  4. Use the alternative aggressive toys.  If you are still not comfortable with toy guns, use the alternatives.  Foam swords are generally more fun than toy guns anyway.

A Side Note About Gun Safety:

Regardless of your use of toy guns, there is never a bad time to talk with children about what to do if they find a gun while playing.  Just recently, there was an incident here in Memphis where a child picked up a gun and shot his brother accidentally.

There are many factors in that case that have nothing to do with aggressive play or aggressive toys. And yet, the underlying fear is that if we let our children play with aggressive toys, things like this will happen.  So…

  1. Talk about actual gun safety.  Talk with your children about what to do if they ever encountered a gun outside of the playroom and what to do and not do about it.  You can discuss that they should never pick up a gun outside of the playroom and that they should notify an adult right away.
  2. Require gun safety from adults.  It’s okay to ask the parents of your child’s friends if they own any weapons and how/where they have them stored.  Same goes for grandparents or other relatives. Don’t just assume that they are responsible gun owners, make them prove it.  Everyone that I know that has any weapons in their home can easily tell me how they are keeping them safe.

Final Thoughts:

Recently, I polled a group of play therapists and they overwhelmingly reported that they not only had toy guns in their offices, but that they found them to be an essential component of a play therapy space. However, those that did not have toy guns felt that the same benefits were achieved through the use of other aggressive release toys (like ropes, knives and swords) without the complications.

PS.

Moreover, representing reality in the playroom is important.  The truth is that many children have parents that work with weapons (law enforcement and military) and others have been exposed to very traumatic events involving drug raids, shootings, or other community violence.

To deny access to those items or experiences seems to somehow convey that those feelings, thoughts or experiences are shameful, wrong, or not important.  The playroom is a place to overcome those feelings and any toys that facilitate that process are okay in my office.

Do you allow your children to play with toy guns?

***

Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for this great post!

To check out Jennifer’s website, click here!

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Categories : Anger, Behavior, Bullying, Communication, Conflict, Intervention Ideas, Play Therapy, Reader Submissions
Tags : aggression, anger, bop bags, development, feelings, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy toys

April Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· May 2, 2017 
· No Comments

“Whoever wants to understand much must play much.” – Gottfried Benn (German physician 1886–1956)

Blog

Thanks to Clair Mellenthin for her submission about spring cleaning. Clearing out and letting go of physical, emotional, and mental baggage can make for a cleaner playroom and a happier you! Check out Clair’s tips to a happier, freer space here!

 

Articles

The Southern Sandtray posted 50 free sandtray directives! These are great ideas for building trays with a variety of topics and subjects. Try some or all of these directives with your clients.

The autism spectrum is very broad and interventions vary dramatically from child to child. two key factor that rings true for all intervention plans is: the earlier the better, and make it a team effort! All parties- parents, teachers, and treatment providers- must be in communication and working together to make the treatment effective. Consistency is key.

According to research done by researchers at the University of Rochester Mt. Hope Family Center and the University of Minnesota Institute of Child Development, children benefit from their mother’s therapy. Research has shown that mothers with depression who participated in interpersonal psychotherapy became better at reading and understanding their toddler’s temperament, essentially making them better parents, while the toddlers became less fussy and angry, making them easier to parent. The relationship thrives which is better for mother and child’s development.

Some pediatricians  have started asking their young patients to complete a questionnaire about depression. Early detection of depression in children and teens is crucial to ensure that they receive the care and support they need. Childhood depression is much more common than healthcare professionals knew in previous years. It is important to recognition of mental illness as well as awareness for physicians to always question and screen for mental illness in their young patients.

 

 

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Categories : Child Development, Depression, Intervention Ideas, Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : development, family roles, feelings, mental health disorders, Play Therapy, play therapy intervention, therapy intervention

March Play Therapy Wrap Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· March 28, 2017 
· No Comments

girl spinning

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.”

– Kay Redfield Jamison, professor of psychiatry

 

Blog

Thanks to Leah Davies for the insights and tips into aggression in girls. Aggression, or bullying, with girls is often different than aggression in boys, as boys tend to cause physical harm, where aggression in girls manifests itself as covert or relational aggression. Relational aggression is when a  person uses manipulation to withhold friendship as a form of punishment, or creates problems within the relationships of others in an attempt to control or punish others. Because girls typically value their personal relationships with other girls, this type of bullying can be very damaging. Davies explains how schools and parents can increase awareness of the issue as well as prevent further bullying in the classroom.

Articles

Sandplay Therapy is a unique and effective tool for children in therapy. It’s a great resource for younger children who dont have the vocabulary to put into words how they are feelings. During sandplay therapy, chidlren and adults use various toys and objects to create a scene in their sandbox. The scene is then interpreted by the child’s therapist and talked about with the Child. “Through play, children work through many types of life lessons, conflicts and mysteries,” said  S. Sugatt, a licensed clinical social worker.

Arunima Basu’s article highlighting the symptoms and concerns for children who have been or are being abused. Some tale-tale signs of abuse in a child are isolation, lack of interest in usual activities, sleep disturbance, and chronic stress. Basu tells us that it is the responsibility of the family of the child to watch for the signs of abuse and communicate with the child so that they understand what inappropriate behavior is and can identify when it is happening to them.

Research has shown that childhood trauma can reshape the brain and behaviors of children. “Previously, what were labeled as behavioral and learning-related issues, such as non-compliance, learning disabilities, depression, oppositional disorder and even Attention Deficit Disorder, are undergoing a reexamination as the understanding of the effects of traumatic stress on a child’s brain grows,” said Theresa O’Neil of Second Wave Michigan. Rather than ask what is wrong with the child, we should be asking what happened, and how can we help.

Veronica Mackey also shared tips on how to stop bullying on campuses. Mackey introduced James Gavsie, an author, martial arts and bullying expert. According to Gavsie, without continuous support and instruction on the topic of bullying, schools will never see the changes needed. Gavsie provides insights and tips on how teachers and parents can stop bullying and implement programs at schools to keep bullying under control.

It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men. That is the motto of ToyBank, a company that has set up 277 toy libraries and game centers in Maharashtra. ToyBank understands the strong mental and social benefit children can have from playtime with peers. Board games and toys are used as tools to help children learn about academic subjects, such as math and reading, as well as learn about themselves and their own bodies and feelings. The games are determined based on the needs of the children. ToyBank does not use games that promote violence or lifestyle toys.

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Categories : Monthly Wrap-Up, Wrap Up
Tags : board games, development, family roles, feelings, games, mental health disorders, Play Therapy, sand tray miniatures, therapy intervention, therapy toys

January Play Therapy Wrap-Up

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· February 2, 2017 
· No Comments

bubbles

 

“Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood, for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child’s soul”

– Friedrich Froebel (founder of the concept of kindergarten)

Blog

Parenting a child with obsessive compulsive disorder can seem like an impossible task at times. Children with OCD can have a difficult time understanding why they have the impulses they experience and how to manage them. For parents, it can be hard to answer their questions and help them navigate the unknown. Natasha Daniels has shared some great tips on parenting children with OCD; how to help them understand the disorder, and actions to help manage it.

 

Cognitive Restructuring is an effective tool in play therapy. It is a combination of play therapy techniques including games, art, and bibliotherapy, paired with discussions about the child’s feelings throughout the process. Donna Hammontree explains how using cognitive restructuring helps children better understand their own thoughts and feelings, and shows them how those thoughts and feelings effect their actions.

 

Articles

What is Play Therapy anyway? Play Therapy (PT) is a specialized practice defined by the Association for Play Therapy. This article helps define play therapy practice with information on the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, and why’s. “PT uses the child’s natural inclination to learn about themselves, relationships and his or her environment. Through PT, children learn to express feelings, modify their behavior and develop problem-solving, communication and social skills, ” says registered play therapist Adrianne Albarado Ortiz.

Brigham Young University is working to research autism with the goal to better the lives of the families that touched by the disorder. BYU uses a combination of disciplines to research autism from different angles including psychology, physiology and developmental biology, statistics, molecular biology, BYU’s Counseling Center and BYU’s MRI Research Facility. “The work is often painstakingly slow, ” says Cynthia Glad of BYU. “The sessions aren’t always successful, but when they work, the resulting images are very valuable. Findings are presented internationally and at the BYU Autism Translational Research Workshop.”

Counselors of Child Protective Services are undergoing a more rigorous psychological evaluation to ensure that they are fit to work and protect the children in the communities they serve. There is no higher priority than the safety of the children, many of whom have gone through traumatic events leading up to the intervention of CPS in their young lives. “The new testing regimen involves a more rigorous psychological test than that relied on in the past, as well as a face-to-face interview with a forensic psychologist,” says reporter Lauren Novak. “They will set a ‘high bar’ on traits such as empathy, maintaining appropriate boundaries with children, managing anger and stress and a proper understanding of the impact of abuse and neglect. The process also screens for indications of inappropriate sexual proclivities.”

Want your child to fess up? Try not showing anger. Sounds obvious, but it can sometimes prove easier said than done. But a new study shows that children are more likely to confess their misdeeds when they know their parents will show understanding and calm evaluation of the issue, rather than un-managed anger. “Convey that you’re going to listen without getting angry right away,” says researcher Craig Smith. “As a parent, you might not be happy with what your child did, but if you want to keep an open line of communication with your child you can try to show them that you’re happy that your child has told you about it.”

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Categories : Autism, Behavior, Monthly Wrap-Up, Parenting, Play Therapy news, Resources, Social Issues, Wrap Up
Tags : development, feelings, Play Therapy, storytelling

Therapeutic Game Play and Developmental Expectations

Posted by Gary Yorke 
· October 7, 2014 
· No Comments

It is expected that the ability to play a game, and tolerate the frustrations that go along with playing a competitive game, will emerge between ages 6 and 11 (Oren, Ayala. The Use of Board Games in Child Psychotherapy. In Journal of Child Psychotherapy, Volume 34, No. 3, 364-383). A socially and emotionally competent child will enter a competitive game with a desire to compete on equal terms, and will enjoy winning when playing by the rules. Failure or losing is not experienced as destruction, and rather than being anxious the child will experience tension. If they lose the game, the fully functioning child will not feel lost or inferior, but sad. The experience of losing is not generalized outside of the play situation.

I’ve been working on developing a chart to map out developmental expectations and behaviors of children while in counseling. Input is welcome!

 

By age 4 we expect a child can regulate aggression and play simple games like chase, hide and seek

 

Children at this stage will show little interest in board games, or games that require following more than one or two rules.

The regressed child may demonstrate disorganized play, be unable to take turns, or appreciate the give and take of even a simple activity like chase.
Between ages 4 & 6 children are learning about rules and developing their cooperation skills

 

Frustration tolerance is emerging.

 

Children will demonstrate inconsistency in their ability to cooperate and engage in a structured activity like a game. Simple games such as Cootie and Candy Land start to become interesting.

 

Children can usually play a cooperation game like Bambino Dino by age 6, but younger children may also be able to play this game.

 

 

 

 

 

The developmentally delayed child may show little interest in reciprocal play, have low tolerance for turn taking, and may not understand or be able to appreciate the value of an interactive, turn taking, game.

 

 

By age 6-7 we expect a child will be able to understand the rules and have the ability to play according to the rules. Some children are able to start participating in games specifically developed for therapy.

 

By age 7 some children are asking for games specific to their challenges, like The Angry Monster Game.

 

Children are beginning to take an interest in competing under equal conditions with others.

 

Children are learning to “wait their turn” and delay making a response.

Children who are delayed may reject a game, act out, try to cheat, argue about the rules or make up rules.

 

 

Increased anxiety or stress may result in the child being less able to compete equally with others, and they may refuse to play a challenging game, cheating, or prematurely quit.

 

By age 8-9 we expect the child won’t be unduly anxious about losing; they’ll understand the difference between a skill game and a game that involves chance. They’re developing a preference for games that involve some skill.

 

By age 8-9 the child understands that you are playing for yourself, and not for them. You won’t bend the rules, and they won’t try and move for you. They experience you as an opponent and don’t have a need to aggress against you.

 

By age 8-9 a child may feel a blow to their self-esteem if they lose a game, but it won’t last long. They are able to maintain a positive relationship with their opponent.

Children who are delayed may prefer simple games of chance such as Candy Land; they may prematurely terminate a game, cheating and changing rules may still persist. They may over-estimate their skill in a game of chance.

 

Some children will reject games that they perceive as having a specific therapeutic component.

 

A child who is delayed may tell you how to move, try to move for you, or become indignant if you take the lead, or become passive aggressive.

 

Children who are delayed may resist game play; they may brag about their success outside of the session with a game they lost; blaming may occur.

 

By age 9 children are able to cooperate and tolerate any type of game. They are able to generate reasonable responses to prompts presented in a game. The may reject a game like Candy Land that is entirely based on chance.

 

A child who is delayed at this age may draw a blank, or frequently say I Don’t Know when a response is required during a therapeutic game. The therapist may have to be more active and provide many more suggestions than they would with a typical child.
Age 11 and up – The typical child will enjoy a game that challenges them and appreciate the goals of therapy and the purposes of the game. They’ll be able to talk about their issues and challenges. They are less inclined to play in the play room and appreciate the opportunity to play an age appropriate game.

 

A delayed child may gravitate to games for younger children, and avoid games that seem explicitly therapeutic. Some children won’t play games at all.
By age 12 nearly all typical children have accomplished all the skills noted above.

 

 
Teens – Typically enjoy therapeutic games and a challenge. They show some insight and appreciate the process of therapy. They acknowledge explicitly developmental issues such as sexual identity, drug use, responsibility, … A delayed or defensive teen may focus on what a waste of time it is for them to come in and play games and may complain about therapy being a waste of money. They may give superficial responses, draw a blank, or ask to play a game that doesn’t include an obviously therapeutic component.

 

 

It is important to be attentive to where the child is developmentally. A child who has not yet developed an adequate self-concept is going to require more nurturing and support than a child who has a good sense of who they are and good self-esteem. It will be important for the therapist to have predetermined in advance, how they prefer to deal with various issues in therapy. For example, I have a rule that objects in my play room cannot be broken, and no one may hurt anyone. No one is allowed to hurt my client, and no one is allowed to hurt me. The first infraction comes with a warning, the second infraction results in the session being terminated. I do not expect all my clients to be able to follow the rules of a game. Devising and implementing new rules, self-serving or not, are treated the same way any activity in play therapy would be treated (see section on cheating). Some children will rationalize their “cheating,” losing, and minimize any success the clinician may have during a game. These behaviors become “grist for the mill.” Anxiety, which can be manifested as worry, aggression or fear, may need the support of the therapist in order to be contained. For example, a game may be discontinued, and only non-competitive games played, or only games the client is very good at may be played for a time.

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Categories : Child Development, Feelings, Play Therapy Games, Research and Case Studies, Social Issues
Tags : development
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